In response to our discussion of American nursing homes and rehab centers: I remember going to the nursing home to say good-bye to my grandmother of 103 years of age. I had to move to Texas for work.
She was very sharp while she could still read, until at aged 102, the cataract pealing surgery changed her nervous system and did not improve her vision. After that, she couldn¹t read about Nixon and his cronies and she lost interest in things. When I saw her the staff had shifted treatment for her from some level of respect to simply tying her in a wheelchair with a crapper pan under it, keeping her doped up all day, nodding her head this way and that, so she wouldn¹t be any trouble for maybe eight hours. My grandmother, who used to be so fierce well into her 90¹s she had us all scared and paying attention, now like a baby with grey hair, ³on the nod² from the dope they gave her. I put my hand on her dear head and said some prayers. Then I had to go; our mother would see her during the months to follow. She died at 105. That was in 1989. I can¹t adjust to the disrespect they show to the old and disabled in America. Some of it America brought on itself, with all those notions of the nuclear family and labor mobility. Like most of my friends when I was a kid, we lived in a house with three generations in it, the grandparents in their rooms on the second floor, my parents down the hall, and we kids in another room. Back then people were able to hang on to jobs, or if not jobs, at least stay with the same company. The company had a personal relationship with the worker if he or she was lucky and the company was good. But there were good companies then, who tried to keep things going and all their labor force in work as long as possible. But my wife and our daughter lived in Florida after moving from Texas; and our mother was in Massachusetts, my sister and her family were in New York, and my brother¹s family lived in Connecticut. My cousins¹ families were in Colorado. My wife¹s parents were in Vermont. Now I live in Abu Dhabi. My present and future wife, Qianher parents are in Chengdu, central China. When did America stop being a family and start being a team? Teams are different than families. Teams bench the weak ones, and when they don¹t improve, or are no longer capable of playing the game up to snuff, they are let go. Families, on the other hand, nurse the weak back to health and business, raise the little ones, and take care of their old, who have now become unable to compete as before. Nursing homes would be staffed by our own neighbors, who take care of Mrs. Johnson because she taught some of the staff in fifth grade; and Stan Kopek mowed our lawns and was a vet of the Pacific Theater in World War II. Any complaints would arouse the interest of the Congregational Church¹s Reverend, the Baptist Church¹s pastor, the synagogue¹s Rabbi, or St. Bridges¹ Catholic priest maybe. They¹d have a few words with the nursing home¹s management and that would take care of it. American management and our government now think of themselves as a team, with the people representing an inexhaustible source of interchangeable workers that can be added or subtracted at will, who do not represent any responsibility for the firm in terms of the workers¹ family needs. I don¹t have a warm and fuzzy feeling for Team America. Sounds too much like living as the people in that old movie, Metropolis, had to live. That¹s why our nursing homes pay staff starvation wages a lot of the time, who don¹t generally have the interest of the patient on their minds. That is why our nursing homes literally stink, in my opinion, and because the patients are total strangers. As an economist, I played around for years on a model of the US economy where the firm ³adopts² a family when they hire a worker with a family. This means that the firm must take responsibility for the family¹s welfare, and needs to think about what happens to the worker¹s family if he or she is terminated; that it must figure out how the family is to be supported while the worker gets another job. Naturally, there is more government support for businesses and families in such a world, and taxes would be higher. But we pay it all out anyway, one way or the other, don¹t we? I could never sort all the problems and the costs of all those contingencies, and had to give up on it. I have a promise from my Chinese wife that we will go back to her home town of Chengdu when we get old. The care is technologically far less developed and pretty rough there. Many patients die because they receive the wrong blood or from some other mishap. But maybe that is not so bad when compared to being kept alive in the terminal stages until all the family¹s accumulated assets are cashed in to pay for doctor and hospital bills, and there is nothing left now for the children's¹ future needs. And the personal treatment can be better in China since the old are respected more there, and the people, the young, and the government, support them. I¹ve seen it. Hopefully it will still be there in about 15-20 years or so from now. Dalton Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates Office: +971-02-607-5070/5297 Mobile: +971-50-668-5760-- From: Janice Nichols <[email protected]> Date: Wed, 5 Jan 2011 11:44:12 -0600 To: Kevin Wolfthal <[email protected]>, Akua <[email protected]>, <[email protected]> Subject: Re: [TMIC] REHAB Resent-From: <[email protected]> Resent-Date: Wed, 5 Jan 2011 09:44:12 -0800 Kevin, you did all you could for your mom - don't beat yourself up about it. I would imagine there was I shift that was sloppy with patients and the others were pretty good. This was something you could not help. Janice -----Original Message----- From: Kevin Wolfthal Sent: Tuesday, January 04, 2011 3:36 AM To: Akua ; [email protected] Subject: Re: [TMIC] REHAB I am furious when I think about how my Mother was treated in rehab after her stroke. She was allowed to fall out of her wheelchair at least 3 times that I know of. They refused to belt her in the chair even though she was paralyzed on one side. When I called a nurse once to ask how my Mom was doing she said: "why are you worried about her, she's old...". I am NOT kidding! When my Mom was brought home for hospice, she was black and blue all over. The hospice nurse was wondering why, so I told her, "because the rehab let her fall out of her wheelchair three times". My Mom passed away on her one day back home. I will do anything I can to avoid that kind of "care". I wish I could have done more for my Mom. Kevin Akua wrote: > The closest I came to hell on earth was in rehab. I was allowed to fall > twice. I was given the wrong meds daily for nearly two months, I was > insulted and demeaned. I remember the nurse entering my room and finding > me crying -- I was in awful electric pain --- and she told me I > shouldn't be crying. She often brought he son to work. I wrote her about > her gross insensitivity and she apologized. > > I worked hard to learn how to use the sliding board to get in and out of > bed-- it was so so hard, and frightening, because an idiot had let me > fall, but this mainly > because if you couldn't get up, you wouldn't be attended to. Now that I'm > home, > I understand one of the basic challenges the idiot didn't address-- > the wheelchair slides on a polished, linoleum floor. I have a bathmat with > grips by my bed now, so my wheelchair, doesn't slide..... this is just one > of a zillion things they could have taught or worked on or shared or > presented to or for me and didn't. And this was rehab, to ready me for > life on my own as a paraplegic: worthless. > > One of the friends I made there was immobile without assistance, although > unlike me, she was not paralyzed. She was left on her bedpan > for an hour. I had passed aides chatting at the station, ignoring her > buzzer, as i wheeled down the hall to see her..... > > I wrote the board and management and met with management. I met with the > dietitian twice, who quit about a month after i left. She told me that she > was unable to get me the food that with restore my health ( fresh fruit > and vegtables, fish, whole grain breads, baked potatoes). > > I kept in touch with several friends I made there who were still there > when I left, because we all knew the importance of having people call. > > Only the cleaning staff helped. They advocated and interceded. I'll never > forget one man who came and prayed for and over me. > > An investigation began when I and several other patients lost over 50 > pounds. The few visits I had, folks brought food. Staff ate or discarded > my (good) food. > > So, while I don't know about the hip pain, I can relate to the soul pain > of being in a nursing home. > > It was like being in prison. There was a courtyard allegedly for getting > air--- the door was always locked. I was awakened, whenever they felt like > it, seldom consistently. Hellish to be awakened at 5 a.m. to have blood > drawn by unskilled phlebotomists. Privacy was seldom observed > I remember always asking for doors or curtains to be closed. > > If Cindy needs calls, I'm more than willing. all other things being equal, > being in a nursing home is awful. > > Akua > -- > > http://www.healrecover.blogspot.com > http://www.akualezli.blogspot.com > "When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and > love has always won. There have been tyrants and murderers and for a time > they seem invincible but in the end, they always fall - think of it, > always." > Mohandas Gandhi
