that first night in the hospital was interesting yet scary for me. one of the 
people that I had worked there with years ago was going over my history and we 
were talking about TM,well i was doing more listening because i just didnt 
understand what had happened. she came back in with this report in her hand,,it 
was from the NINDS website about TM. 

 that was the beginning of many hours of looking here and there studying about 
different things to do with the CNS and seen a couple of symposiums about 
neurological disroders, what was going on in my nervous system as far as 
signals getting jumbled and the brain confused causing symptoms and looking for 
the right signal answer back that just was jumbled.

Some of the Dr's i read about made mention that trying to find the right recipe 
to help a patient wasnt the same with every patient and what works today just 
may not work tomorrow.

For me the mental strain of trial and error just does not compute and now that 
I have zero insurance I cannot afford to play the game anyway.

with all the meds I take,so far laughter has been the best medicine. 

not looking for advice nor do I seek sympathy or empathy

just passing time.

and a little gas  ;)
  

________________________________
 From: Akua <[email protected]>
To: Ryota Nishino <[email protected]>; [email protected] 
Sent: Thursday, December 15, 2011 9:43 PM
Subject: Re: [TMIC] How to 'educate' medical professionals about TM and a few 
related  questions
 

Re: [TMIC] How to 'educate' medical professionals
about TM
While I lay in the local hospital, post diagnosis, but with a
small committee of doctors in disagreement over  what to do. yes,
they included a neurosurgeon consult -- as if cutting me open would
restore
my ability to walk.

I was in incredibly searing pain; only paralysis itself kept me
from flipping off the bed.

One doctor told me that if what happened to me had happened to
him, he would want to kill himself.

He asked me if I wanted drugs for my mood because he had read
that depression was attendant to TM.  I had a mantra for those
decades-long weeks: I wanted a laptop, not drugs. If they procured a
laptop for me, I could read, communicate, work and my mood would
improve. No I wasn't depressed, I told him and a  laptop would be
cheaper than the psycho-meds.

This conversation or  variants of it was repeated several
times. There was a patient help group in the hospital and they brought
me a  phone book and  I found a (bless them bless them) rent
to own firm, that generously brought the laptop i rented to me in the
hospital and kindly picked it up when I was
being moved to another hospital. They saved my life, because I was able to tell 
my friends across the country and world
that I was knocked down and paralyzed,  and they came to my
rescue.

With the laptop by my hospital bed, I was able to look up things
for the doctors to consider, I was able to critique my treatment. I
soon bought the laptop that I write from today -- but I needed one to
get one
because at home I had a desktop, and I had been carried from my
house by stretcher (and was unable to return for 2.5 years, but that's
another story).

I'm wandering a bit but to underscore my points
!. Citing other medical advice that was congruent with my beliefs
helped me manage my care and
persuade my doctors
2. Stand firm in your truth --- we each need what we need. There
is a psychological affect to this condition.
3. It's annoying and tiring , but you have to know more than your
doctors. If I had a million bucks,
I would be mobile, because I could hire the help I need to
implement restorative therapies. Since
I'm poor, it's about wheedle,plead, present, persuade.
4. TM has laid waste to my life. I sit in my wheelchair amidst
the ruins, trying not to tumble on
to the shards below, because if I do, I can't even crawl over
them.


-- 

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