To:
Subj: this will  tickle you




 
Nell  Wallis 



 
 (http://www.jackhayford.org/gallery2-607/2010ChristmasCard140)  
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1. She was in the bathroom,  putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes 
of her young  granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she 
applied her  lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, 
you  forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put  
lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper  good-bye....



2. My young grandson  called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He 
asked me how old I  was, and I told him, 62.  My grandson was quiet for a 
moment, and  then he asked,  "Did you start at 1?"



3. After putting her  grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old 
slacks and a droopy  blouse and proceeded to wash her hair.. As she heard 
the children  getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. 
Finally, she  threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room,  
putting  them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard  
the three-year-old say with a trembling voice,
"Who was  THAT?"



4. A grandmother was telling her little  granddaughter what her own 
childhood was like: "We used to skate outside  on a pond I had a swing made 
from a 
tire; it hung from a tree in our  front yard. We rode our pony. We picked 
wild raspberries in the woods."  The little girl was wide-eyed,  taking this 
all in. At last she  said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"



5.. My grandson was  visiting one day when he asked,"Grandma, do you know 
how you and God are  alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how 
are we alike?''  "You're both old," he replied.



6. A little girl was  diligently pounding away on her
grandfather's word processor. She  told him she was
writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked.
"I  don't know," she replied. "I can't read."



7. I didn't know if my  granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I 
decided to test her. I  would point out something and ask what color it was. 
She 
would tell me  and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. 
At last, she  headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try 
to figure  out some of these, yourself!"



8.  When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin,  we kept  the 
lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky  insects. 
Still, a few fireflies followed us in.  Noticing them  before I did, Billy 
whispered, "It's no use Grandpa.  Now the  mosquitoes are coming after us with  
flashlights."



9. When my grandson  asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not 
sure."  "Look  in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised, "mine says
I'm 4 to  6."



10. A second grader  came home from school and said to her grandmother, 
"Grandma, guess what?  We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, 
more  than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting,"  
she said,  "how do you make babies?"  "It's simple," replied  the girl. 
"You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."



11. Children's Logic:  "Give me a sentence about a
public servant," said a teacher. The  small boy wrote: "The fireman came 
down the ladder pregnant." The  teacher took the lad aside to correct him. 
"Don't you know what pregnant  means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy 
confidently. 'It means  carrying a child."



12. A grandfather was delivering his  grandchildren to their home one day 
when a fire truck zoomed past.  Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck 
was a Dalmatian dog.   The children started discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to  keep crowds back," said one child.  "No," said another. 
"He's just for good luck." A third child brought the  argument to a close. 
"They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the  fire hydrants."


13. A 6-year-old was  asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she 
lives at the airport,  and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when 
we're done having  her visit, we take her back to the airport."


14. Grandpa is the  smartest man on earth! He teaches me good good things, 
but I don't get  to see him enough to get as smart as him!


15. My Grandparents are  funny, when they bend over; you  hear gas leaks, 
and they blame  their dog.



SEND THIS TO OTHER  GRANDPARENTS, ALMOST
GRANDPARENTS, OR HECK, SEND IT TO EVERYONE  ....

IT WILL MAKE THEIR DAY!  





 






























<WB
 
Anthony J. Horn, BrokerAnthony J. Horn, Broker<WBR>Keller WiAnthony J. 
Horn, Broker<WAnthony J. Horn, BrokerAnthony J. Horn,Anthony J. Horn,

 
E-Fax 423-826-5116E-Fax 423-826-5116<WBE-Fax 423-826-5116<WBR>Cell  
423-650-9700<WBR><WBR>"Do not ask the Lord to Guide your FE-Fax 
423-826-5116<WBR>Cell  423-650-9700<WBR><WBR>"Do not ask the Lord to Guide your 
Footsteps if

 


















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