Hi Nikki,
Speaking for myself - almost 7 yrs. now with TM - yes, it gets easier in
a way. You will slowly begin to accept the limitations TM imposes on
you, but you will still have some resentment and sense of loss.
If you are not already taking one, I strongly suggest you have your
doctor prescribe an anti-depressant. I was already taking one prior to
contracting TM and it made a huge difference in my attitude about my
condition - although I have always maintained a better-than-average
outlook when things have happened to me.
I've had Scoliosis since age 12 and had spinal fusion at age 19 for
which I spent 11 months in body casts to complete the process - does
wonders for your self-image walking around in a cast from your hips to
your head with such a huge chin piece you can barely feed yourself with
a fork! Never mind trying to find clothes that fit over the cast, not
bathing or washing your hair for three months at a time. Or how about
the three month after the surgery in a body cast from the top of your
head to your knees, casted into a wheel contraption in a prone position
and having to deal with your personal needs (toileting and menstruation!).
Kind of puts things into perspective... I feel like I could deal with my
limited feeling and balance, not being able to run or jump or wear cute
high-heeled shoes or slinky, silky fabrics (which now drive my nerves to
the extreme edge). I realize things could have been much worse for me
and I sympathize with those who weren't so lucky and have many more
obstacles to overcome. My main concern is the pain I experience and
having to take medication to control it for the rest of my life. I'm
almost 60 and live in a two-story house... stairs are difficult to say
the least, but when my pain is acute, it really starts to get to me. My
husband and I will be looking into selling our current home and
purchasing a one-story, but we've been waiting for our two kids to move
out (our son is 23 and our daughter is 22 next month - both are very
close to being self-sufficient and ready to be on their own).
Don't be afraid to be a little selfish about your needs... you have to
make those around you understand that there are things you can no longer
do - not for lack of wanting to, but from the absolute fact that you
can't or you will pay for it dearly for the next day or more. It took me
a long time to accept that fact since I am very stubborn and had always
refused to admit I couldn't do something without making a valiant effort
to accomplish it. I now realize my limitations and gauge how much of my
strength I'm willing to compromise on for any given effort.
<http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory-written-by-christine-miserandino/>
Something that helps immensely is having a good support system, whether
it be family, friends, co-workers or the wonderful folks here on this
website who can appreciate and validate what you're feeling and what you
are dealing with. Have you read "The Spoon Theory" written by Christine
Miserandino? It's a very good way of helping your family and friends
realize and appreciate what you go through on any given day. Here's the
link if you have never read it:
http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory-written-by-christine-miserandino/
I hope this helps with your fears... please don't hesitate to talk
things out with the folks here. Most have experienced everything you're
going through and are very willing to help you though it.
Hugs and Prayers,
Betty Clark
(Northern California)
On 2/14/2013 3:31 PM, Nikki Macleod wrote:
This time 2 years ago TM struck overnight whilst I was sleeping, feeling very
emotional and tearful and cannot sleep as I think I'm scared I know it sounds
silly. Does it get easier? X
Sent from my iPad
