More Forwarded Junk mail :). This one was too good to permanently delete from the universe :).
----- Original Message ----- From: "John Storey" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: "Neil T Vitale" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; "Neil Pres Vitale" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Tuesday, January 09, 2001 7:12 PM Subject: Fw: Darwin Awards: Criminal Category for 2000 > > John Storey > Century Electric > > 973.889.5400 X 25 > 973.889.0544 Fax > 973.703.4613 Cell > 888.427.8750 Pager > ----- Original Message ----- > From: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; > <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; > <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > Sent: Tuesday, January 09, 2001 9:54 AM > Subject: Fwd: Darwin Awards: Criminal Category for 2000 > > > > > > > > > > >Darwin Awards: Criminal Category for 2000 > > > > > > > > >These awards are given each year to bestow upon that > > >individual, who through isolation by incarceration, > > >has done the most to remove undesirable elements from > > >the human gene pool. > > > > > > > > >RUNNER-UP # 9 > > >Yankton, South Dakota: A woman was arrested at her > > >step son's Boy Scout meeting. While watching a > > >policeman demonstrate his drug dog's ability, the dog > > >found a bag of grass in her purse. > > > > > > > > >RUNNER-UP # 8 > > >Colorado Springs: A guy walked into a little corner > > >store with a shotgun and demanded all the cash from > > >the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a > > >bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted > > >behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier > > >to put it in the bag as well, but he refused and said > > >"Because I don't believe you are over 21." The > > >robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to > > >give it to him because he didn't believe him. At > > >this point the robber took his drivers license out of > > >his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk > > >looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact > > >over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber > > >then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier > > >promptly called the police and gave the name and > > >address of the robber that he got off the license. > > >They arrested the robber two hours later. > > > > > > > > >RUNNER-UP # 7 > > >A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and > > >mentioned that there was a car phone in it. > > >The policeman taking the report called the phone > > >and told the guy that answered that he had read > > >the ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy the car. > > >They arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested. > > > > > > > > >RUNNER-UP # 6 > > >San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank > > >of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this > > >iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." > > >While standing in line, waiting to give his note > > >to the teller, he began to worry that someone had > > >seen him write the note and might call the police > > >before he reached the teller window.So he left the > > >Bank of America and crossed the street > > >to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, > > >he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She > > >read it and, surmising from his spelling errors > > >that he was not the brightest light in the harbor, > > >told him that she could not accept his stickup note > > >because it was written on a Bank of America deposit > > >slip and that he would either have to fill out a > > >Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of > > >America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said > > >"OK" and left. The Wells Fargo teller then called > > >the police who arrested the man a few minutes later, > > >as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. > > > > > > > > >RUNNER-UP # 5 > > > >From England: A motorist was unknowingly caught in > > >an automated speed trap that measured his speed > > >using radar and photographed his car. He later > > >received in the mail a ticket for 40 Pounds and a > > >photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the > > >police department a photograph of 40 Pounds. Several > > >days later, he received a letter from the police > > >that contained another picture...of handcuffs. > > >The motorist promptly sent the money for the > > >fine. > > > > > > > > >RUNNER-UP # 4 > > >Drug Possession Defendant Christopher Jansen, on > > >trial in March in Pontiac, Michigan, said he had > > >been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said > > >the officer didn't need a warrant because a "bulge" > > >in Christopher's jacket could have been a > > >gun. "Nonsense," said Christopher, who happened to > > >be wearing the same jacket that day in court. He > > >handed it over so the judge could see it. The > > >judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket > > >and laughed so hard he required a five minute > > >recess to compose himself. > > > > > > > > >RUNNER-UP # 3 > > >Oklahoma City: Dennis Newton was on trial for the > > >armed robbery of a convenience store in district > > >court when he fired his lawyer. Assistant district > > >attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was doing a > > >fair job of defending himself until the store manager > > >testified that Newton was the robber. Newton > > >jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then > > >said, "I should of blown your (expletive) head off." > > >The defendant paused, then quickly added, "If I'd > > >been the one that was there." The jury took 20 > > >minutes to convict Newton and recommended a 30-year > > >sentence. > > > > > > > > >RUNNER-UP # 2 > > >Detroit: R.C. Gaitlan, 21, walked up to two patrol > > >officers who were showing their squad car computer > > >felon-location equipment to children in a Detroit > > >neighborhood. When he asked how the system worked, > > >the officer asked him for identification. Gaitlan > > >gave them his drivers license, they entered it into > > >the computer, and moments later they arrested Gaitlan > > >because information on the screen showed Gaitlan was > > >wanted for a two-year-old armed robbery in St. Louis, > > >Missouri. > > > > > > > > >RUNNER-UP # 1 > > >Another from Detroit: A pair of Michigan robbers > > >entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. > > >The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his > > >partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. > > > > > > > > >THE WINNER > > >A Charlotte, NC, man having purchased a case of very > > >rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against > > >fire among other things. Within a month, having > > >smoked his entire stockpile of cigars and without > > >having made even his first premium payment on the > > >policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance > > >company. In his claim, the man stated the cigars > > >were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance > > >company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason > > >that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal > > >fashion. The man sued.... and won. In delivering the > > >ruling the judge agreeing that the claim was > > >frivolous, stated nevertheless that the man held a > > >policy from the company in which it had warranted > > >that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed > > >that it would insure against fire, without defining > > >what it considered to be "unacceptable fire," and was > > >obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure a > > >lengthy and costly appeal process the insurance > > >company accepted the ruling and paid the man $15,000 > > >for the rare cigars he lost in "the fires." > > >After the man cashed the check, however, the company > > >had him arrested on 24 counts of arson. With his own > > >insurance claim and testimony from the previous case > > >being used against him, the man was convicted of > > >intentionally burning his insured property and > > >sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine. > > > > > > > > > > > >-- > > > ************************************************** > > > Jeff Szuhay A randomly-directed > > > www.szuhay.org chaotical wetware pattern > > > [EMAIL PROTECTED] recognizer/generator. > > > > > > > > > Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful > > > citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is > > > the only thing that ever has. -Margaret Mead > > > > > > > > >------- End of forwarded message ------- > > > > > > > > > > >
