Ladies and assassins,

It gives me great pressure and great pleasure to
announce the Crunchstock! awards:

 - Best new phrase for being drunk: "Scat-arsed"....do
you really need me to elaborate????
 - Best song on the night: "Here he comes" and "Saints
and Sinners"
 - Best cure for post Crunchstock depression:
Believing the rumours circulating on friday night that
there would be two Velvetstocks in september
 - Best thrill: Talking to John Hasler
 - Biggest mistake: Apparently (the Ayatollah Foley
tells me)I said something to John Hasler like "Hey, I
need this plastering job done, are you still in that
line of business?"
 - Biggest surprise: Finding that Cheryl's friends'
gig turned into a secret party for two blokes from
Blur afterwards. Drummer is sound, guitarist is a
tosser.........
 - Best geezer: Swanny (sorry Scat but you'll have to
relinquish your award for one weekend!)
 - Biggest regret: I had this plan to jump on stage
afterwards and shout on the microphone "Please leave
in a noisy fashion and could the last one out turn the
lights off please", but somebody was spitting in my
face so I had to wait around.
 - Worst Irish accent: Simesy......and nobody in
Ireland says "To be sure, to be sure". Spank you!
 - Best anecdote: I met Vince Foley in Oxford Street
and told him he had to bring me up to the MTV studios
in Camden to meet Kelly Brook, who I'm a slight fan
of, ahem!! Anyway, he says "you can't, she's on
holidays this week". I had to head off to Croydon for
a bit,so on his way to Camden on the tube, who is
sitting completely opposite him?.....Kelly Brook. Who
is sitting right beside him? Ska music's most famous
insomniac and ex-d singer of The Specials Terry Hall!

  I'm going to bed, I hate you trainspotters.
  
  Vince Carden...........available on all formats!

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