Attending a wedding for the first time, a
little girl whispered to her mother, 'Why is the bride dressed in white?''
The mother replied, 'Because white is
the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.'
The child thought about this for a moment then said, 'So why
is the groom wearing black?'
~~~~~~~~~~
Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their
fathers. The first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of
paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.'
The second boy
says, 'That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on piece of
paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.'
The third boy says, 'I got you both
beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon,
and it takes eight people to collect all the money!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she
requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial
service, she wrote, 'They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I
don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A police recruit was asked during the exam, 'What would you
do if you had to arrest your own mother?' He answered, 'Call for backup.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took
Jesus with them toJerusalem . A small child replied, 'They couldn't
get a baby-sitter.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten
Commandments with her five and six
year olds. After explaining the commandment to 'Honor thy father and
thy mother,' she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat
our brothers and sisters?' Without missing a beat, one little boy answered,
'Thou shall not kill.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created
everything, including human beings. Little
Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was
created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed
him lying down as though he were ill, and she said, 'Johnny, what is the
matter?' Little Johnny responded, 'I have pain in my side. I
think I'm going to have a wife.'
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