Disregarding the work time, the best solution obviously is "hacking mailman to make it behave as we want". Considering the work time, the best solution probably is "keeping it as it is, and warn that the forum is not anonymous regarding to email". Disconnecting the lists in the forum does not look appealing because 1) it means a fragmentation of the helping community and 2) I believe that anybody, who wishes her e-mail address to remain undisclosed and has been warned about the issue, will not stop helping/seeking help; she will simply write from the Web interface.

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