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I post this more so for new initiates than oldtimers, or people who have already have more than their feet wet (they have their privates wet by now) and have been at TROM and processing a while.
You can call this a case history for the record, which I post for others who come after me in TROM, to study. This is in addition to the posts I have made prior. And this is particular to L5 and the postulate failure chart. My experience with the PFC has been a challenging one and I am not able to easily put everything into words. But I will put into words what I can. It took me quite a while to unravel and decifer the PFC. (Actually my mind would repel it, or it would repel my mind. That repelling problem has actually been my experience with the entire TROM manual from the beginning. It has taken a lot of intellectual effort to overcome the repelling effect, the opposite of affinity, what ever the right opposite word is. ) Then when I did decifer it enough to a point where I could struggle my way with line 1A, there was some bite into my case. I would say some change happened. It has been about two weeks now since I began trying to run the PFC. It was an off and on experience. Do some, leave it for a day or so, than try it again. In between, I would think about and try and figure out different ways of doing the chart. ( I am a very poor rule and system follower and have always been that way.) I have mentioned a few days ago, that I have had success in running process while sleeping. Actually most of my success or gains have been accomplished by beginning and doing processing before falling asleep and my mind would continue processing all night. And I feel better, clearer and lighter when I wake up. That is very good value for my time. And no effort. But when I was doing the PFC in the day time, and even while trying to do it before falling asleep, the "bite" decreased as I progressed to the end (8B). And my interest in using the "to know" goals package decreased and my interest in using junior goals packages increased. (Junior goals just kept taking up my interest and popping up all over my view for me.) And I can't really find any of this "black mass" as Dennis describes in the TROM manual in his descriptions of the personalities when my eyes *are*open. I think such "black mass" was "visible" to me some years ago when I had more case. But my memory is vague. But now the black mass is not there, ( when my eyes are open) at least not that I am aware of. But it is easy for me to find and see "black mass" when my eyes are closed, especially before going to sleep. And I have* really* become aware of this 'black mass" and increasingly aware of what it is made up of. My main junior goals packages, which I figured out or and formulated for myself are: Must not be, can't be, ............must be. Must not do, can't do, must not do.............must do. Must not have, can't have, must not have............must have. Must not pee, can't pee, must not pee..............must pee. Must not learn, can't learn, ...........must learn. Must not read, can't read, ..............must read. Must not be loved, can't be loved, ...............must be loved. Must not love, can't love............must love. Must not be appreciated, can't be appreciated,................... must be appreciated. Must not be accepted, can't be accepted, ...............must be accepted. Must not be myself, can't be myself, ..............................must be myself, but can't, so must be somebody else (must take on a valence). Must not sex, can't sex.................must sex. That is some of them. Some of the implanted postulates that I had were: He is no good. He is stupid. There is something wrong with him. He can't do anything right. You are a fuck up. He is a Jinx. You are trouble looking for a place to happen. No one has any use for him. No one likes you. No one has any use for you. He has to do everything the wrong way first, before he can figure out the right way to do anything, if he is at all able to do anything right. That is to name a few of what comes to mind now. Now for the last couple of weeks, after going to bed and before falling asleep, and when I would try to run the "to know" package and when it did not make sense to me, and when I had no interest in using it, I would experiment with the junior goals packages. I would see all this "all encompassing black mass" in my mind's screen, my mind's view field, when my eyes were closed. I would study this black mass. Then "thoughts" would eventually (after some minutes) come to my mind. The thoughts would contain the elements of my case, the false and limiting postulates, the implants, and junior goals packages. (All this has been an evolution and I can't explain all the details and trials and errors. You, the initiate, the student, the preclear, will have to figure out your own ways and make your own mistakes. You learn more from mistakes than you do from successes. Every case is different. The point is not to give up and to take what you learn from your mistakes and use it on your next effort. That is called experience and a way to gain proficiency and become an expert. Always think for your self and do your own critical thinking. Any idea is only as good as it works. Any idea is only as good as the number of problems it solves. And the value of an idea is not determined by "because someone (in this case Dennis) said so". (Dennis was deeply immersed in scn for about 25 yrs before he developed TROM. He had lots of auditing and did most of the bridge. He ran off a lot of case in scn before he developed TROM. Like most people in scn for many years he was still very fucked up when he left. His case was relatively light when he decided he needed to do more, and as a result developed TROM. And was still fucked up and died young at the age of 67. So his process does not say much for him. (Healer; heal thyself first, .........is the old saying.) And there is no evidence that he even got the people he knew in his area, his sphere of influence to try it. An intelligent and competent scientists or developer of almost any such thing, would try it on the people in his sphere of influence. And get experience and a number of case histories before doing anything more. Carefully evaluating TROM and Dennis' condition and what can be determined by evaluating available circumstantial evidence around Dennis and TROM, (running it through Carl Sagan's bullshit detector) raises a lot of questions about his credibility, competence, character, and integrity. Do not let Dennis or L. Ron Hubbard, or your mother or father, or anyone else have control over your mind or take over your mind. Have and keep your own mind. If you do not have a mind of your own, make one, develop one. Just learn to think and learn to think for yourself, learn how to think properly. There is a right way and a wrong way to do almost everything. Start questioning everything you know for validity, truth, sensibility and pacticallity. and worthiness. Like Hubbard once said, most people can't think, because they did not know they could think. Then once you realize and know you can think, and can think for yourself, and not let other people think for you, you have to learn how to think properly. And if you want to know the truth about any and all things, it is a good idea to ask that empty space in front of you to teach you the truth in what ever you want to know the truth in, or in all things. Ask non ceasingly. It is unlikely you will get to know much real truth about anything, unless you ask. And if you do not ask, you will be given bullshit. That empty space in front of you is all knowing, omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent. When you are ready to know the truth in something, your teacher will appear. Keep this in mind, the universe does not throw truth in front of swine. Because swine trample everything under their feet into their manure. (An aside: Dennis does mention the Jr goal package "to reason" in one of his tapes, if you have problems with reasoning, look up the word and related words on the online dictionary and get a good handle on what reason and logic are all about and how to use them every moment of every day. Run the "to reason" goals package. Then compare reason, reasoning (good reasoning and bad reasoning) and logic to; beliefs, believe, believing and opinions. Also look up :thinking, think, instinct, knowledge, know, knowing, information, facts, truth, wisdom, lies, sanity and insanity. Look each of them definitions up in at least half a dozen different on line dictionaries. Dictionaries are often wrong or not completely right, or weak or ambiguous, especially on the words belief and believe. Believing something is what a person does to accept something as true without proof. Believing is raising an assumption or a hearsay or fabrication or opinion to the level of a fact without proof. When you say I believe________ this and that, or say you believe in this and that. You are actually saying you do not know what you are talking about. You are admitting that you are actually clueless on what you are saying and believing in. You are just a talking head. You are at best making an assumption. A belief is a confession of ignorance. When you believe in something, it means you do not know. It means you have not researched, evaluated, tested and scrutinized the datum to know whether the said datum is true or not. You have not compared it to all other datums of comparable magnitude in the known universe. See Scn book: New slant on life; ch: "How to study a science" , or how to study and know about any subject. Read it and apply it. Believing in something is intellectual dishonesty. When you get all the research and testing done, on a particular datum, then you can KNOW the facts and do not have to believe anymore. You will have certainty on the datum, like you have certainty on what your name is. You do not believe you name is __________. You know your name is__________. Use this as a start for learning to do critical thinking, through which you will develop your own mind : http://act.hdsb.ca/biology/Acton_Biology_files/Baloney%20Detection%20Kit.pdf It is Carl Sagan's Baloney Detection Kit, aka Bullshit detection kit. If that link does not work, do a search on it and you will get lots of links to many web sites on it. It is very popular. Learn it to memory. And his kit is not all there is to the process either, it is only the beginning, you figure out the rest on your own. **************************************************************************************************************************************************************************** Back to my processing experience: I usually wake up during the night..... and..... if I feel like running another "goals" package, I will do that too. I double my monies (time) worth in one night. The floating postulates are now getting pretty dim and weak lately. I used my own version of "polarity processing" to deal with them undesirable postulates, those non life postulates. For example: He is stupid. On a sheet of paper; Or on the computer, ........... on a word processor is better, ...........I wrote down: "He is stupid", then across from it, I wrote down the opposite. I am extremely intelligent. I am not stupid. I am extremely intelligent. I look at them and then hold those two opposite postulates up in my mind's view for a period of time. Doing so will discharge any charge and neutralize them, very effectively. Then I say something to the effect of: Even though I have been abused and invalidated and called stupid, I deeply love and accept myself. (That general idea has it's roots in Zivorad's DEEP PEAT.) I forgive those who have done that to me and I forgive myself for harboring those negative thoughts and postulates. I now cancel, delete, take out of existence and clear out the "He is stupid" implanted postulate and replace it with "I am intelligent and competent. (That is a very similar to "in effect" , to time breaking, maybe even better and even easier. At least to me it is. ) It works for me. That is what really only counts. This may take several redoings over several days, weeks or months. I do (did) that for each unwanted or undesirable postulate or trait or defect, or fault in me. I will call those implanted postulates "floaters" for this process, this purpose. Because they always floated around in my immediate universe. In my mind and around me. Now to deal with the junior goals packages............ What I have been doing lately is really studying the "black mass" that I see when I have my eyes closed. One way or another I figure out what is in there. Sometimes I do it intellectually and sometimes the ideas maybe come out of the black mass to my mind. Usually there are all of them in view. And I chose what I want to run. What interests me the most. I think what I found most effective way to d o it is: .............say the Jr goal is I chose to run at the time... is; sex: I put both the "must not be sexed" postulate and the "must not sex" postulate in the black mass. Then I, by intention, mentally flow .... "send"..... "force" ... by pusher beam...... the "must be sexed" and "must sex" postulates into the black mass. Keep doing and repeating that, like Dennis says in his tape to Judith, explaining how to do L5. It usually only takes a few minutes of doing that and I am in deep, deep sleep. I will have dreams on the subject of women and sex all the while I am sleeping. They are usually weird and varying degrees of "make sense" and "not make sense" , like all my dreams and I suppose everyone's dreams are. There has been a number of them. I particularly remember last nights dream. I was walking around with some friend through an abandoned and looted part of ghost town type city of very large old concrete buildings. All doors and windows were gone and destroyed. There were a few people living in them through out the ruins. A young woman about half my age comes up to me and whispers in my ear. "I need to have sex and I want you to have sex with me. Will you have sex with me? (My friend disappeared.) I said ok I will. I need to have sex too. Other than wearing a big T shirt which all but covered her crotch, she was naked. But the place was more than to filthy to have sex anywhere that we could find, even after walking around and looking for quite a while. Somehow I even landed up carrying her in my arms for a while. She was probably too horney to walk. After a while of carrying he, I woke up. We did not get a chance to have sex, that I know of, anyways. So anyways that is how it went. But over the last week I have been experimenting with that process and ran sex a few times. And an interesting thing happened on last Saturday night. It was about 20 below C or 0 F outside. I walked into a very small Starbucks to have a coffee. I had an appointment to wait for somewhere else, that was about an hour ahead in time. So I needed a place to wait where it was warm. The place was about less than half full. I walk in and am looking around trying to get oriented in the place and figure out where to order my coffee, and before I am able to do that, a woman sitting on the stool high chair at the counter bar, hits on me hard. She is talking to me asking me the usual questions and will not let up to allow me to order a coffee. I want my coffee! I am a bit nervous and thrown off my guard. I had to man handle her to give myself time and the mental focus I needed to order a coffee. I finally ordered a coffee and we got a table and talked for about 45 minutes. Then I had to go to my appointment. We had a good talk. I gave her my card to call me if she wanted to go for another coffee. I am still waiting. Mostly joking. I doubt if it will happen, for many reasons. Which those reasons are irrelevant. Amongst which, she is not my type and I am not her type either. But it was a good experience for both of us. The interesting point for me is that hasn't really happened to me for more than 20 yrs. Then the next morning I get on the city bus and lo and behold, there is what I consider a most beautiful woman, well dressed, good postured, with a beautiful countenance in the front seat, (which in front of her seat was the wheelchair and stroller area, so it was an open area) looking straight at me with a pleasant light smile on her face. I almost lost my balance. I was too stunned to handle the situation. I was only able to return the smile. I just sat across the isle from her and one seat ahead. There was one more row of seat frontwards on my side. So she was sitting to my left across the isle, a couple of feet behind I could feel her gaze on me until I got off the bus. I was half catatonic. I find these events (and the timing of them) quite interesting in relation to the processes I am doing. End of story. David
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