> Subject: Exam Question > > > > THERMODYNAMICS OF HELL > > > > The following is an actual bonus question given on a University of > > Washington chemistry mid-term exam. The answer by one student was so > > "profound" that the Professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, > > which things being what they are in cyberspace is why we now > > have the pleasure of enjoying it as well. > > > > Bonus Question: > > Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? > > > > Most of the students wrote proofs based upon Boyle's Law: > > Gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed, or some > > variant of this. One creative student, however, wrote the following: > First, > > we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing over time. So we need to > > know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which > they > > are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to > > Hell, it will not leave. > > Therefore, no souls are leaving. > > As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different > > religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state > that > > if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since > there > > are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to > more > > than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With > > current birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of > souls > > in Hell to increase exponentially over time. > > Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's > Law > > states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the > > same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. > > This gives two possibilities: > > 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which > souls > > enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until > > all Hell breaks loose. > > 2. However, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of > > souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell > > freezes over. > > > > So which is it? > > If we accept the postulation given to me by Jane during my Freshman year, > > "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.", and > taking > > into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having relations > > with her, then Theory #2 cannot be true, and thus I am left to conclude > that > > Theory #1 must be correct: Hell is exothermic and will not freeze. > > > > The student received the only "A" in the class. > > > > Jane has not been so generous. > > > > > > >
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