>CHILDREN AND THE CHURCH
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>A little boy was attending his first wedding.
>
>After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man
>marry?"
>
>"Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an
>answer so quickly.
>
>"How do you know that?"
>
>"Easy," the little boy said.
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>"All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4
>worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."
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>O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~
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>After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced
>to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up."
>
>"That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"
>
>"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway,
>and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and
>listen.">
>
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>O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~
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>
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>A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church
>service: "And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who
>passed trash against us."
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>O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~
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>A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. "How do you
>know what to say?" he asked.
>
>"Why, God tells me."
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>"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"
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>O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~
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>A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and
>on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we
>give him the money now, will he let us go?"
>
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>O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~
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>After t
he christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny
>sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked
>him three times what was wrong.
>
>Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a
>Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!"
>
>
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>O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~
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>Terri asked her Sunday school class to draw pictures of their favorite
>Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four
>people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to
>represent. The Flight to Egypt was his reply. Pointing at each figure,
>Ms. Terri said, "That must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus. But who's
>the fourth person?"
>
>"Oh, that's Pontius - the pilot.
>
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>O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~
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>The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, t
ell me frankly do you say
>prayers before eating?"
>
>"No sir," little Johnny replies, "I don't have to. My Mom is a good
>cook."
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>
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>O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~
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>
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>A college drama group presented a play in which one character would
>stand on a trap door and announce, "I descend into hell!"
>
>A stagehand below would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would spring, and
>the actor would drop from view. The play was well received. When the
>actor playing the part became ill, another actor who was quite
>overweight took his place. When the new actor announced, "I descend into
>hell!" the stagehand pulled the rope, and the actor began his plunge,
>but became hopelessly stuck. No amount of tugging on the rope could make
>him descend.
>
>One student in the balcony jumped up and yelled: "Hallelujah!
>
>Hell is full!"
>
>
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>O~O~O~O~O~O
~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~
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>Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, "After a worship service at First Baptist
>Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety seven-year old
>boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. About
>halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, 'If you don't
>be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have to
>start his sermon all over again!'
>
>It worked."
>
>
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>O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~
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>
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>This is the best one.
>
>A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a
>bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book
>and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking
>her own cheek, then his again.
>
>Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
>
>"Yes, sweetheart," he answere
d, "God made me a long time ago."
>
>"Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"
>
>"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."
>
>Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting
>better at it, isn't he?"
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