The Remote Patrol for Tuesday, November 25, 2008
by Thomas Allen Heald, Esquire
All times Eastern, for PBS programs, check local listings
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TOM'S TWISTED TOTALLY TRIVIAL TV THINGY
"It's a helicopter, and it's coming this way. It's flying something 
behind it, I can't quite make it out, it's a large banner and it says, 
uh - Happy... Thaaaaanksss... giving! ... From ... W ... K ... R... P!! 
No parachutes yet. Can't be skydivers... I can't tell just yet what they 
are, but - Oh my God, Johnny, they're turkeys!! Johnny, can you get 
this? Oh, they're plunging to the earth right in front of our eyes! One 
just went through the windshield of a parked car! Oh, the humanity! The 
turkeys are hitting the ground like sacks of wet cement! Not since the 
Hindenburg tragedy has there been anything like this!" Where is Les Nesman?
A) The Eastgate Mall
B) The Forest Fair Mall
C) The Kenwood Towne Center
D) The Pinedale Shopping Mall
E) The Tri County Mall

The answer tomorrow: It was almost as if they were ...organized!

---

8 p.m.
"NOVA: OCEAN ANIMAL EMERGENCY" (PBS) tries to keep you from watching 
Animal Planet. Oh look, there's the Seahorse Whisperer.

"A CHARLIE BROWN THANKSGIVING" (ABC) marinates in butter.

"HOUSE" (Fox) is held hostage. So he returns the favor by stealing 8 
minutes more time from your local news.

"THE IFC MEDIA PROJECT: THE FRONTLINES OF JOURNALISM" (IFC) catches up 
with Valerie Plame Wilson. Yep. Still pissed.

9 p.m.
  "DANCING WITH THE STARS"  (ABC) gives the $2.98 in Hobby Lobby 
supplies craftwork to its newest non-failing flailer. And because they 
had cue cards left over from the American Music Awards we have Cloris 
Leachman accosting people on the street, a roast by Jeffrey Ross, and 
Alicia Keys and Miley Cyrus singing and/or thanking God (who is busy 
watching "Fringe.")

He's both Itchy and Scratchy, and when it comes to cheap fuel, gassy as 
well on "THE HUGO CHAVEZ SHOW" (PBS). Hopefully he's doing different 
musical numbers than Rosie.

10 p.m.
Vic's plane spins out over the Sea of Japan on "THE SHIELD: THE FINAL 
NIGHTMARE" (FX).

Richard Roeper talks fashion on "STARZ INSIDE" (Starz). Judging by his 
suits on "Ebert and Roeper," this is as bad an idea as letting Heroes 
creator Tim Kring near a microphone ever again.

10:30 p.m.
"INDEPENDENT LENS: THE ATOM SMASHERS" (PBS) tours the Super Collider, 
who by day works as mild mannered reporter Clark Collider. Pay no 
attention to his glasses.

===
TV OR NOT TV RECOMMENDS
   "The West Wing - The Complete Series"
   http://tinyurl.com/tvornottvWestWing
   45 discs. $114. Ignoring your loved ones: Priceless.
===

NIGHT LIGHTS
* David pardons Reese Witherspoon and Harry Connick Jr.
* Jay thaws Josh Brolin, Chelsea Handler, and the Killers
* Jimmy fetes the winner of "Dancing with the Stars" (Lance Bass) and 
the Jonas Brothers.
* Craig likes Tony Curtis and Megalyn Echikunwoke hot.
* Kanye West and Seth MacFarlane stew with Conan.

===
TTTTTT ANSWER
What did Hooperman do for a living? He was a San Francisco plainclothes 
police officer.

===
But the conversation doesn't end here, add your own suggestions or 
discuss mine on the "TV or Not TV" Google list. "The Remote Patrol" is 
copyright© 2008 Thomas Allen Heald and Gigantic Rear Projection, Ltd. 
Walk and talk.

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