he Remote Patrol for Thursday, December 3, 2008 by Thomas Allen Heald, Secretary of the Coaxial All times Eastern, for PBS programs, check local listings ---
TOM'S TWISTED TOTALLY TRIVIAL TV THINGY The "Electric Company's" "Love of Chair" sketch always asked "What about ... Naomi?" Well ... what about her? A) She's having the same problems as Tippi Hedren. B) She's no longer producing country albums on a regular basis. C) She's trying to dig her cell phone out of another assistant. D) She's likely intrigued that they're doing a sequel to "Donnie Darko." E) She thinks beauty is a myth. These pretzels and the answer are making me Friday. === 8 p.m. A rabid raccoon guests on "MY NAME IS EARL" (NBC). No, not Marylin Manson. 9 p.m. Blah blah sex in linen closets ... blah blah risky surgery ... blah blah adjective with the prefix "Mc" ... blah blah ... "GREY'S ANATOMY" (ABC). "AMERICA'S SECRET WEAPONS" (National Geographic) reveals that yes, the Department of Defense is working on an Iron Man suit to protect soldiers. Although thus far it only protects them from dating Gwyneth Paltrow. Christiane Amanpour wishes the Jonas Brothers, Beyonce, and David Archuletta would devote more songs to genocide on "SCREAM BLOODY MURDER" (CNN). Tippi Hedren and Robert Guillaume guest on a special "CSI" (CBS) in which Governor Dubois is accused of murdering Kraus via blackbird. 9:30 p.m. Alec Baldwin and Tina Fey guest on "30 ROCK" (NBC), in which Tracy and Kenneth the Page reunite the cast of "30 Rock." 10 p.m. Thomas Beatie, Tom Cruise, Miley Cyrus, Tina Fey, Frank Langella, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Michael Phelps, Will Smith, and SOMEONE UNKNOWN WHO IS LIKELY BARACK OBAMA make the list on "BARBARA WALTERS IS EASILY DISTRACTED BY SHINY THINGS 2008" (ABC). College students in Oklahoma get the bends on "ELEVENTH HOUR" (CBS). Which is scientifically impossible -- since we all know that they don't have swimming pools, much less running water in that state. In the most terrifying "ER" (NBC) ever, Morris and Banfield are trapped in Nebraska. 10:30 p.m. Sarah makes up new words on "THE SARAH SILVERMAN PROGRAM" (Comedy Central). 11:30 p.m. Comedian "DAVID CROWE" unleashes his CROOKED FINGER" (Showtime). === REMOTE RECOMMENDATIONS "The Bro Code" by "How I Met Your Mother's" Barney Stinson http://tinyurl.com/6mocvo Whether we know it or not, each of us lives a life governed by an internalized code of conduct. Some call it morality. Others call it religion. I call it "the Bro Code." For centuries men have attempted to follow this code with no universal understanding of what such an arrangement meant: Is it okay to hug a Bro? If I'm invited to a Bro's wedding, do I really have to bring a gift? Can I sleep with a Bro's sister or mother or both? Now, for the first time on paper, I have recorded the rules of social decorum that Bros have practiced since the dawn of man...if not before. The Bro Code previously existed only as an oral tradition (heh), so I have journeyed the globe to piece together and transcribe the scattered fragments of the Bro Code, pausing only to flesh it out myself (double heh). While not intending to write a "Guide to Being a Bro," if men should treat it as such and pass this compendium of knowledge from one generation to the next, I have little doubt it would bring a tear to my eye. But not out of it. That would be a violation of Article 41: A Bro never cries. It is my hope that, with a better understanding of the Bro Code, Bros the world over can put aside their differences and strengthen the bonds of brotherhood. It is then, and only then, that we might work together as one to accomplish perhaps the most important challenge society faces -- getting laid. Before dismissing this pursuit as crass and ignoble, consider this postulate: without the sport inherent in trying to bang chicks, would men willingly have sex for the sole purpose of producing smelly, screaming babies? Centuries from now, when a Bro applies the rudiments of the Bro Code to score a three-boobed future chick, the only thanks I'll need is the knowledge that I -- in whatever small capacity -- Bro'd him out...though if he could figure out how to bring me back to life, that would be pretty awesome, too. -- Barney Stinson === NIGHT LIGHTS * Ron Howard opines on "The Daily Show." * Crackers Sen. Bob Graham and Nicholas Wade row their way to "The Colbert Report." * Brian Williams, Kirk Fox, and Common read the news to Jay. Oh boy. Four thousand holes in Mumbai, India. * Jimmy leans what's new with Hugh Jackman and Tom Jones. === TTTTTT ANSWER Which actor was killed both on the original "Police Squad" TV series and in one of the theatrical "Naked Gun" films? The villainous Robert Goulet, in "Naked Gun 2 1/2." === But the conversation doesn't end here, add your own suggestions or discuss mine on the "TV or Not TV" Google list or at TVorNotTV.net. "The Remote Patrol" is copyright© 2008 Thomas Allen Heald and Gigantic Rear Projection, Ltd. Do not talk about Bro code. --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ Like TV only smarter. You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "TV or Not TV" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/tvornottv?hl=en -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
