The Remote Patrol for Satyrsday, December 6-Sunday December 7, 2008
by Thomas Allen Heald, Secretary of the Coaxial
All times Eastern, for PBS programs, check local listings
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TOM'S TWISTED TOTALLY TRIVIAL TV THINGY
Scott Bakula played lawyer / acupuncturist Bud Lutz, Jr., on the sitcom 
"Eisenhower & Lutz." Who played Eisenhower?
A) Tim Curry
B) Phil Hartman
C) Joe Penny
D) Patricia Richardson
E) Alan Smithee

The answer on a Manic Monday.

===

SATURDAY
8 p.m.
Learn where Robinson "CRUSOE" (NBC) goes with Friday on Saturday night. 
It's not likely back to England, thanks to a muted mutiny.

9 p.m.
"DANCING WITH DOGS" (Animal Planet) I guess is better than Dancing with 
Cloris Leachman.

All the cornfield denizens stand up in salute to "CMT GIANTS: ALAN 
JACKSON" (CMT). That's all!

Martha Jones and the Sontarans return to "DOCTOR WHO" (BBC America) ... 
and we all know what that means.

A nun (Rhea Perlman) and an accountant walk into "THE CHRISTMAS CHOIR" 
(Hallmark).

Heather Locklear gets her groove back while "FLIRTING WITH FORTY" 
(Lifetime). And by "flirting with" we mean 47, which would really be 
more like "French kissing fifty."

Why drive from Lesotho to the Drakensberg Mountains "ACROSS THE ROOF OF 
AFRICA" (National Geographic)? Because that slave driver Will Shortz 
wants you to fact check your "Me and Mrs. Jonestown" themed puzzle.

Eric Roberts captures a "CYCLOPS" (Sci-Fi) in ancient Rome in a schlock 
fest from Roger Corman protege Frances Doel.

10 p.m.
The Iroquois Confederacy captures a chupacabra "AMERICA'S FIRST NATIONS" 
(Discovery).

NIGHT LIGHTS
John Malkovich and Kristen Wiig are the perfect match on "Saturday Night 
Live." Which is to say iicky.


SUNDAY
7 p.m.
BULL HORN: CLIP SHOW: FIRE BAD!
"TY PENNINGTON: BEHIND THE SCENES" (ABC).

8 p.m.
I don't want your child, you can have her. she's "TOO FAT TO TODDLE" 
(BBC America).

"THE AMAZING RACE 13" (CBS) heads for the home stretch from Moscow to 
Portland, Oregon. Unless it loses its passport.

Drink up with fifth of Beethoven while catching "'70s FEVER" (History).

Bruce Davison, Jane Curtin, and Bob Newhart join Noah Wyle in "LIBRARIAN 
III: THE CURSE OF THE JUDAS CHALICE" (TNT).

8:30 P.M.
Mark Cuban and Marv Albert battle killer bees on the 4th season of 
"Saturday Night Live" er ... "THE SIMPSONS" (Fox).

9 p.m.
Patricia Heaton and Treat Williams fight public perception of their 
son's Tourette's syndrome in "HALLMARK HALL OF FAME'S: T*TTY SPRINKLES!" 
(CBS).

TELE-GEBRA
"The Tudors" + 24 = "HOUSE OF SADDAM" (HBO). In the debut, Saddam, Jr., 
wants his dad to let his garage band, "Camel Toe," play at the 
Ba-Da-Bing Club.

10 p.m.
TELE-GEBRA
"Smith" + "House" = "LEVERAGE" (TNT).

===
REMOTE RECOMMENDATIONS
"A Charlie Brown Christmas" (Remastered Deluxe Edition with Kung-Fu Grip)
   http://tinyurl.com/tvornottvChucksMas
What makes it Deluxe? Because it's the one they want you to buy this 
year. Because buying the same thing over and over to make obscene 
corporate profit is the moral of the story. Bring on the Disney Bailout!

===
TTTTTT ANSWER
Who took over the Michael Keaton role of auto worker Hunt Stevenson when 
the movie "Gung Ho" hit the small screen on ABC? 'Twas pre-"Eisenhower 
and Lutz" Scott Bakula.

===
But the conversation doesn't end here, add your own suggestions or 
discuss mine on the "TV or Not TV" Google list or at TVorNotTV.net. "The 
Remote Patrol" is copyright© 2008 Thomas Allen Heald and Gigantic Rear 
Projection, Ltd.


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