The Remote Patrol for February's End, 2009
by Thomas Allen Heald
All times Eastern, for PBS programs, check local listings

What series star/lead character noted in his show's first episode that 
turning "five dollars into ten dollars is impossible, but turning five 
million into ten million is inevitable"?
A) Blake Carrington
B) Jonathan Hart
C) Jim Profit
D) Edward Stratton III


E) Donald Trump

Monday brings the correct answer, and while raindrops keep Fallon on my 
head. (This is why rainy days and Mondays always get Hugh Downs.)

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Our top story tonight:
SATURDAY
9 p.m.
Shrink Rosie O'Donnell battles the foster care system with a 16 year old 
named
"AMERICA" (Lifetime).

David Hasslehoff, David Frye, and John Rhys-Davies battle the giant 
rubber snake in "ANACONDAS 4: TRAIL OF BLOOD" (Sci Fi).

Learn whether "Jesus Walks" was non-fiction and other fun facts on 
"STORYTELLERS: KANYE WEST" (VH1).

10 p.m.
If the fictional version was too much for your palette, the documentary 
"NOTORIOUS B.I.G.: BIGGER THAN LIFE" (BET) might be worth a rap session.

SUNDAY
8 p.m.
TELE-GEBRA
"The Devil Wears Prada" =
"RUNNING IN HEELS" (Style) .

"I'm not wearing that girl's leotard!," on "THE AMAZING RACE" (CBS).

It's possible that Rob Lowe dies on a "BROTHERS & SISTERS" (ABC) Movie 
Event. But at least the chicks at "Grey's Anatomy" can then sleep with 
his character.

Bart is rewarded for his "academic achievement" on No Child Left Behind 
tests on "THE SIMPSONS" (Fox). To quote Bill Cosby's "Moses," "RIIIIIIIGHT."

9 p.m.
"THE L WORD" (Showtime) is possibly "Lambada" given the episode's GLBT 
center dance marathon. Or possibly "Leaving," as one character has plans 
to bolt to NYC.

"JESSE STONE: THIN ICE" (CBS) battles Boston's internal-affairs 
division. He done shouldna' left home.

Oscar winner Tom Hanks produces "BIG LOVE" (HBO), on which Oscar winner 
Dustin Lance Black is a writer. (Insert snide remark about "Arli$$" here.)

Super egos make lemonade out of former credibility on "THE CELEBRITY 
APPRENTICE" (NBC). The Biggest Rated Show Airing on NBC Right Now.

10 p.m.
"THE GIRLS NEXT DOOR" (E!) prepares to spinoff a bimbo into her own grotto.

"THE UNITED STATES OF TARA" (Showtime) offers a reminder as to why you 
should always put in writing which of your sister's split personalities 
you want to have take care of you while recovering from breast implant 
surgery.

10:30 p.m.
Bell has trouble juggling her men (the non paying ones) on "SECRET DIARY 
OF A CALL GIRL" (Showtime).



QUESTIONABLE ANSWERS
   What county was Elroy P. Lobo the sheriff of? When not chasing B.J. 
and the Bear, Lobo had his misadventures in Orly County, GA.
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   But the conversation has just begun, add your own suggestions or 
discuss mine on the "TV or Not TV" Google list or at tvornottv.net. "The 
Remote Patrol" is copyright© 2008 Thomas Allen Heald and Gigantic Rear 
Projection, Ltd.

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