The Remote Patrol for March 4, 2009 by Thomas Allen Heald, Jive Talkin' All times Eastern, for PBS programs, check local listings
TOM'S TOTALLY TWISTED TV TRIVIA THINGY Which actor played Andy Richter on the sitcom "Andy Richter Controls the Universe"? A) Thomas Haden Church B) Jeff Garlin C) Don Johnson D) Michael Richards E) Andy Richter Tuesday brings the correct answer, and more boxes of wine. --- Our top story tonight: America Held Hostage Day Three: Jimmy Fallon Almost Makes Us With They'd Given Mike Meyers A Talk Show Instead. 8 p.m. 34 "Wacky Chicks" (to use Simon Doonan's term) compete to become "AMERICA'S TWELFTH PRETEND TOP MODEL WHO WILL GET A YEAR SELLING COVER GIRL MAKEUP EVEN THOUGH ELLEN DEGENERES IS THE CAMPAIGN'S ACTUAL TOP MODEL AND THEN ATTEMPT TO GET HER OWN REALITY SHOW EVEN IF SHE HAS TO MARRY SOMEONE FROM THE BRADY BUNCH TO REMAIN FAMOUS" (CW). The final three in the top 9, to be made the top 12 tomorrow are announced on "AMERICA'S NEXT TOP IDOL RESULTS SHOW WILL GIVE YOU THE RESULTS AFTER THE BREAK UNLESS IT DOESN'T" (Fox). R.I.P. "KNIGHT RIDER '08" (NBC). Don't let the garage door hit ya where the welder's split ya. 9 p.m. "LIE TO ME" (Fox) deals with cop killers and black firefighters in National Black Hist... oh wait, it's over. Sawyer and others lie to us on "LOST" (ABC), in which Locke is now a cop in 1973. The judges return for the "TOP CHEF NEW YORK: WATCH WHAT HAPPENS REUNION" (Bravo), in which they likely attempt to create another T-Shirt to sell, since Team Rainbow's garment was so successful. "THE TONY ROCK PROJECT" (MyNetwork TV) is back, to let you know, he can really shake 'em down. 9:30 p.m. Alice escapes "WONDERLAND" (DirecTV) in the final episode of the asylum drama. And go figure, it involves giving a death row murderer a dose of truth serum. 10 p.m. More bimbos and himbos compete on "MAKE ME A SUPERMODEL 2(xist)" (Bravo, even more homosexually targeted than the Logo channel). 10 p.m. TELE-GEBRA "The Fugitive" + "Survivor" = "MANTRACKER" (Science). This might be more fun to watch if it was Liz Taylor and/or Zsa Zsa Gabor in Dog the Bounty Hunter mode tracking down two dudes who obviously have more money than they need to be part of some crappy reality show. "MIRACLE ON THE HUDSON" (Discovery) continues the effort to make the Capt. Chesley (Sully) Sullenberger and his crew's landing of US Airways Flight 1549 an annually remembered event more interesting than 9/11. Patty of "DAMAGES" (FX) might be interested in a 2000 song of Janis Ian's called "God & The F.B.I." "SUPERHUMAN" (History) is one of the channel's semiannual attempts to repackage "Ripley's Believe It ...or Not" tales to attract comic book fans to the channel. Oh hey, is there a movie called "Watchmen" coming soon to a theater near me? 11 p.m. "THE CHASERS' WAR ON EVERYTHING" (G4) brings the merry pranksters with in spitting distance of President George G. Bush. And yes, they are very much dressed as Osama bin Laden. BLUE CARDS FOR READ STATES * Dave can't live with or without Dr. Phil, and Commander U2. * It's hell for Jay to be forgetting Russell Brand, Gordon Ramsay, and Neko Case * Craig is at one with Archbishop Desmond Tutu * Cameron Diaz, Billy Crudup, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah pity the fool on NBC in Studio 8B. * Carson goes out walkin' after midnight with Little Boots. * Jimmy hammers things home with Bonnie Hunt and Nathan Fillion QUESTIONABLE ANSWERS Jimmy Fallon's first "major" TV appearance was in a bit part on which series? He was selling photos on "Spin City." --- But the conversation has just begun, add your own suggestions or discuss mine on the "TV or Not TV" Google list or at tvornottv.net. "The Remote Patrol" is copyright© 2008 Thomas Allen Heald and Gigantic Rear Projection, Ltd. --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ TV or Not TV .... Smart (TV) People on Ice! You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "TV or Not TV" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [email protected] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/tvornottv?hl=en -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
