The Remote Patrol for March 11, 2009 by Thomas Allen Heald, Esquire Objects in this column may be larger than they appear.
--- THE TRIVIA THING RETURNS While Sean Penn called in sick when Amy Heckerling turned "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" into a sitcom on CBS, Ray Walston returned as Mr. Hand, as did Vincent Schiavelli as biology teacher Mr. Vargas. Which of the following shows can't count its talent among the cast of "Fast Times"? A) "According to Jim" B) "Cheers" C) "Grey's Anatomy" D) "Murphy Brown" E) "The Wonder Years" The answer appears next Patrol, hopefully before the milk goes sour. --- 8 p.m. SWEEPSPLOITATION GUEST STAR PATROL Kristen Johnston rocks "THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE" (CBS). Learn how many times Kanye West dialed 1-866-IDOLS-13 hoping he could ask for Kelly Clarkson on the "AMERICAN IDOL RESULTS SHOW" (Fox). TELE-GEBRA "Hells Kitchen" + "The Restaurant Wars" episode of "Top Chef" "THE CHOPPING BLOCK" (NBC). 9 p.m. It's the same old story on "LIE TO ME" (Fox): is the Uganadan peace activist telling the truth. Yawn. Earth dies on "NAKED SCIENCE" (National Geographic), after being beaten up by Chris Brown. Yeah, I know. I miss the Rod Blagojevich jokes too. AWOL + LA = DOA on "LIFE" (NBC). 10 p.m. A stewardess winds up with her tray tables in the locked upright position on "LIFE ON MARS" (ABC). And yes, the episode involves a swingers party. "CSI: NY" (CBS) After a pipe bomb blows up a Manhattan townhouse and destroys valuable evidence, the team is left to reconstruct the clues. The Jonas Brothers get beaten up in 2-D on "SOUTH PARK" (Comedy Central), as Kenny agrees to wear a purity ring after attending the JoBros concert hoping it will improve his sex life with a new girlfriend. In a shocking twist, Dan White shoots Supervisor Milk on "DAMAGES" (FX). RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES An investment bankers mistress winds up with her Dow Jones average substantially lowered on "LAW & ORDER" (NBC). To say nothing of her broader based Topix index. 10:30 p.m. "IMPORTANT THINGS WITH DEMETRI MARTIN" (Comedy Central) practices safe texts. TALK TALK * Paul Rudd is the object of the Daily Show's affection. * Tavis bills Robert Gates. * Stephen counts down to his chat with Howard Fineman. * David lulls Tom Brokaw and An Horse. * Jay dances with Ellen Degeneres, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Raul Malo. * Craig wings it with Tim Daly and Dr. Kara Cooney * Jimmy Fallon forgets Russell Brand, Kevin Rose & Alex Albrecht, the Virgins. * Patton Oswalt and M83 are kings with Carson. * Jimmy Kimmel leaps through the necessary hoops to book Jaime Pressly, animal trainer Kirstin McMillan, the Pretenders --- CORRECTION: Carol Channing was not this week's special mentor on American Idol. What we meant to say was that "The Biggest Loser" contestants would be eating pound cake off her new licensed "Hello, Doilies" brand paper products. We regret the error. --- But the conversation has just begun, add your own suggestions or discuss mine on the "TV or Not TV" Google list or at tvornottv.net. "The Remote Patrol" is copyright© 2008 Thomas Allen Heald and Gigantic Rear Projection, Ltd. --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ TV or Not TV .... Smart (TV) People on Ice! You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "TV or Not TV" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [email protected] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/tvornottv?hl=en -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
