The Remote Patrol for March 20, 2009
by Thomas Allen Heald, Still bald for Children's Cancer Research
All times Eastern, for PBS programs, check local listings

TOM'S TOTALLY TWISTED TV TRIVIA THINGY
"HAVE YOU TAUGHT YOUR PET TO DO SOMETHING ODD? Late Night with David 
Letterman on NBC will feature pets who have been trained to do unusual 
things. Pets must be amateur & owners must be willing to appear w/ them 
at auditions & on the show," read the initial classified ad in the New 
York Times. What did the first featured pet do?
A) Fetched its owner beer
B) Jumped rope
C) Played basketball
D) Played guitar
E) Sneezed

The answer when next we meet. Or not.
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8 p.m.
The submarine in the future endangers the psychic cat who can predict 
death on "TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES" (Fox).

"W.W.E. SMACKDOWN" (MyNetwork TV) celebrates 500th scripted episodes.

9 p.m.
Echo is the perfect date for Patton Oswalt on "DOLLHOUSE" (Fox). Yes, he 
is insanely rich.

Dad blows the college fund on "FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS" (NBC).

I have a message... the "BATTLESTAR GALACTICA" (Sci Fi) was shot down 
over the sea of Japan... it spun in... there were no survivors.

"PULLING" (Sundance) returns with the girls preparing to go wild to 
obtain some sex in the city.

10 p.m.         
Alexandra Wentworth returns to fight the Goode fight as the "HEAD CASE" 
(Starz) treating Macy Gray, Janeane Garofalo, Tori Spelling and Dean 
McDermott.

10:30 p.m.
TELE-GEBRA
"Friends" + "Top Chef" = "PARTY DOWN" (Starz)

TALK TALK
* Tavis gets tapped by Christopher Guest, Harry Shearer, and Michael McKean.
* Madeleine Albright, Keith Olbermann,
Kerry Washington, Sen. Bernie Sanders and
Andrew Ross Sorkin make Real Time for Bill Maher.
* Jay sounds off with Seth Rogen, Guy Fieri, and Chris Cornell.
* Jimmy Kimmel ogles girl Portia de Rossi, girl Melissa Rycroft, and non 
girls Motley Crue.
* Jimmy Fallon's grandfather has a T in his first name with Jason Segel, 
the Amazing Kreskin, Dan Rollman and Corey Henderson.
* Carson time travels with Masi Oka and the Duke Spirit.

QUESTIONABLE ANSWERS
   This show's theme song is known as "Temptation Sensation." Name it. 
"It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" uses that particular piece of stock 
music.

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CORRECTION: Our story on on apathy contained error. Whatever.

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   But the conversation has just begun, add your own suggestions or
discuss mine on the "TV or Not TV" Google list or at tvornottv.net. "The
Remote Patrol" is copyright© 2008 Thomas Allen Heald and Gigantic Rear
Projection, Ltd., a division of Haslenald, Inc.

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