The Remote Patrol for Friday, April 24 and Saturday, April 25, 2009
by Thomas Allen Heald, Esquire
All times Eastern, for PBS programs, check local listings

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TOM'S TOTALLY TWISTED TELEVISION TRIVIAL TEST THINGY San Francisco 
comedy improv group "The Committee" included comedians who went on all 
but which of the following series?
A) "All in the Family"
B) "The Bob Newhart Show"
C) "Hill Street Blues"
D) "Three's Company"
E) "WKRP"

FRIDAY
It's a wonderful night, come on and break it on down in the next edition 
for the answer.

8 p.m.
Kellie Martin  and CBS daytime's Thad Luckinbill, Amelia Heinie, and 
Lesli Kay guest on a soap synergystic "GHOST WHISPERER" (CBS).

TELE-GEBRA
"San Diego Famous Chicken" + "High School Musical" - "17 Again" = 
"HATCHING PETE" (Disney).

Mother Burrows hires a sniper to kill one of her pesky sons on "PRISON 
BREAK" (Fox). And she would have gotten away with it too if it hadn't 
been for that lazy writer who figured a punchline referencing Scooby Doo 
cliched endings made sense at 3:30 a.m..

9 p.m.
Echo has a murder victim's memories implanted on "DOLLHOUSE" (Fox). Oh 
yes, make Mother Heald want to watch you even more.

9 p.m.
"PATTON 360" (History) heads to <Sophia Petrillo>picture it 1943, 
Sicily</Sophia Petrillo>, with code name: Operation Husky led by 
Lieutenant Bobby Hill.

TALK TALK
* Bill tapes his show at 420 with Randy Cohen, Bethany McLean, Robert 
Baer, and the two you might have actually heard of Howard Dean and Dana 
Gould.
* Tavis states his case to Tracey Ullman.
* Dave mans the night shift for Michael Keaton and Lily Allen.
* Jay will probably not be taping a show with Anderson Cooper, Kathleen 
Madigan, Brad Paisley. But you never know.
* Kimmel solos with Jamie Foxx and Elizabeth Mitchell
* Craig dresses up for Eddie Izzard and Chris Botti.
* Learn how Fallon met Neil Patrick Harris, Emily Deschanel, and Reggie 
Watts.
* Carson tells White Lies to Joshua Gomez.

SATURDAY
7:30 p.m.
"CRIBS" (CMT) visits the homes of ... (didn't this used to be on MTV? 
Good lord they don't even have time to show their programming that 
doesn't involve music videos!) NASCAR racers Dale Earnhardt Jr., Kurt 
Busch and Martin Truex.

8 p.m.
YOU KNOW ITS SWEEPS WHEN ... CBS has anything new on a Saturday Night 
that doesn't involve a missing hot blonde. Yes, "STREISAND: LIVE IN 
CONCERT" (CBS), means her roots are showing. But don't get your hopes 
up, kids. The 2006  concert footage is but an infomercial for her 
three-disc DVD set,  which hits streets on Tuesday.

9 p.m.
"ASHES TO ASHES" (BBC America) ends season two with Alex attempting to 
prevent the deaths of her parents. Hey, good luck with that.

Treat Williams is the dad who just doesn't understand that his son is 
"CHASING A DREAM" (Hallmark), attempting to break the four minute mile 
... or three minute egg, I forget which.

Instead, I'll be watching Lou Diamond Phillips (who will apparently work 
for food ... on a stick) as the stereotypical small town sheriff being 
menaced by both a Jersey devil and assorted sideshow freaks in "CARNY" 
(Sci Fi). Oddly not about the Wilson sister who lost weight with gastric 
bypass and then wrote a "diet book."

10 p.m.
Gillian Anderson and Sinéad O’Connor trade hair care tips on "THE GRAHAM 
NORTON SHOW" (BBC America).

Diets are inflicted upon unsuspecting obese folks because "I WANT TO 
SAVE YOUR LIFE" (WE).

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QUESTIONABLE ANSWERS
NBC is reviving "I'm a Celebrity... Get Me out of Here!" which bombed on
ABC in 2003. Who won that edition? 'Twas non-celeb Cris Judd, ex-husband 
of J-Lo who later went on to host WE network's "Dirty Dancing: The 
Reality Series."

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   "The Remote Patrol" is copyright© 2009 Thomas Allen Heald and
Gigantic Rear Projection, Ltd., a division of Haslenald, Inc. All rights
reserved. Yeah I know.


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