The developments in the S_______ B______ story this far have been this:

1. She auditioned (January) and it aired April 11.

2. Around April 14-15 it started hitting the youtube sand flats and 
begins setting land speed records 1 million, 5 million, 18 million, 31 
million, 50 million and now over "100 million burgers sold."

3. B_______ hits every network morning talk show for an "exclusive" 
interview in which she sings the Les Miz song ... again. And is 
incredibly stiff and awkward (though some of this is probably satellite 
feed delays).

4. It's discovered she recorded two tracks on a charity album that had a 
limited edition of 1000 copies. This is put up on youtube over still 
pictures of Ms. Boyle.

And it's about this point in the journey which doesn't put her back on 
Britain's Got Talent again until American Idol ends its live shows just 
gets to the "ENOUGH ALREADY" South Park venting.

The new headlines are:
5. It turns out the story point that "she'd never been kissed" is a put 
on since she has indeed "been kissed and she's never stopped since."
6. "Inside Edition" (when not lavishing time on Miss California or the 
Craigslist Killer) discovers new(ly recorded) footage of Ms. _________ 
singing "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" into a mirror ... using a green 
hairbrush as a microphone. (With a camera crew in front of her and boom 
mic above obviously.) But at the very least she's proven she's learned 
at least 4 songs in 57 years.

7. Everyone suddenly remembers that "BGT" has others competing. The 
challengers to Ms. B_____ are: a 12 year old belting out Jackson 5 era 
Michael Jackson, and a plus-sized stripper/burlesque dancer whose cups 
runneth over.

8. Michael Musto and Liz Smith express cynicism about both Ms. Boyle's 
actual talent, the calculation with which the story appeared on BGT. The 
Humpty Dumpty music, the editing,  Whether Ms. B_____ herself believes 
the rags to riches story she's being asked to play.

9. Even though no deals can even be negotiated until after the BGT 
finale per Fremantle rules, she's already "guaranteed" a BMG record deal 
via Simon, who also wants to produce a (TV)-movie bio about her life, 
and the US tabloid shows she's "guaranteed" something on Broadway. 
(Hairspray? Shrek? Too Bad RENT's gone.)

She could of course QUIT THE SHOW NOW and take any of these offers. 
(Fremantle would probably not let her as they still want to sell ads on 
BGT whose first post-B______ show produced record ratings since ... they 
could repeat the previous weeks footage ad infinitum. Yaaay?)

10. Ms. B_________ has (having already defrizzed her hair) bought some 
less tacky dresses, a leather jacket, and had her eyebrows plucked. "in 
violation of her promise to never change."

11. "Entertainment Tonight" has exclusive interviews with people in her 
hometown telling us that she was always the nice quiet sort who kept to 
herself and nobody expected her to go on that killing spree (etc.). 
Highlight of the night they get her butcher's opinion of her musical 
talent. Proving, I guess, that she's not a vegetarian.

12. "South Park" as "Entertainment Weekly" deems it "VICIOUSLY ATTACKS" 
Our Lady of Saint B_______ over the over-exposure of all of the above. 
Which, since the press needs anything to give the story another minute 
of airtime becomes the new headline.

In the meantime ... we have an alleged political revolution, auto 
industry restructuring, international piracy, and revelations of water 
boarding memos and possible prosecution of war crimes charges for the 
Bush administration officials (Condi?, Cheney? Bush himself? Just 
underlings?) who authorized torture. All of which means we need to hear 
as much as possible about S____ B____, Miss California, Levi Johnston, 
the Craigslist Killer, and who or what Lindsay Lohan is dating now.

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