On Sat, Jul 5, 2014 at 7:28 PM, JW <[email protected]> wrote:

> > My son and I watch it every year. These are the best eaters in the
> world...
>
> If you enjoy watching it, swell. But I find all the (non-live) coverage
> annoying. There's no reason why I should know the names of people who eat
> hot dogs fast unless I actually want to know.
>

I am no shill for ESPN or "competitive eating", but I will say this: While
those (like, apparently, JW) who have watched the Hot Dog Eating Contest
and decided they don't like it are of course to be respected and left
alone,those who simply scorn it without having watched it may be missing a
mild enjoyment. The tongue for this event is at least 3/4 of the way in its
cheek (there is a hot dog eating joke in there somewhere I suppose); its
not professional wrestling, it has more the feel of something between "Best
in Show" and "Dodgeball". Of course there are many who have seen both of
those and enjoyed neither too; I enjoy all three.

Some examples of the commentary (I rely on
http://onefoottsunami.com/2014/07/04/the-2014-nathans-hot-dog-eating-contest/
for the wording of some of these), all delivered in a just slightly
over-the-top sports-hype tone of voice:

   - One of the lower-level eaters was described as having once had a
   verified 16" burp that one judge described as: "both mournful and
   optimistic" [This was my favorite line of the day]
   - Joey Chestnut declared himself both "empty and loose" after not having
   breakfast, and not eating much the day before in preparation for the big
   event.
   - Referring to top contender Stonie's eating approach "He’s got this
   Luis Suarez-type bite, which has no place in the game of football, but it
   is welcome here at Coney Island."
   - In reference to another back-bencher: "If you believe in science, than
   you have to believe processed food is superior to something someone dug out
   of the dirt. He has spent ten years maintaining a boycott against any
   healthy food…The closest he has ever been to a goji berry is a Cheeto."
   - To appeal to the cycling fans in this thread - the commentator noted:
   "The buns are weighty, they’re like the hills of the Pyrenees for a Tour De
   France rider."
   - Anticipating the possibility of a new record: "I am not given to
   hyperbole, but if this happens, it’d be the greatest achievement in the
   history of man."
   - And of course, the classic introduction for Joey Chestnut: "Only
   moments from her womb, and before she even placed him to her breast, his
   mother held him close, and whispered in his ear. She said ‘You are of my
   flesh, but you are not mine own. Fate is your father and you belong to the
   people, for you shall lead the army of the free.’ And she held him high and
   the finger of power that destroys the unworthy descended, and it touched
   him on the forehead, and it anointed him the champion of the world, of now,
   and of always, of the fourth of July of the nation, of the free, under god!"

One of the things I like about it is ESPN making fun of itself, in a less
smarmy way than many of their commercials.

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