Okay, here's a workaround that worked for me:
The kill_bad_alternatives() function in the preinst script expects that
all the files it reads are non-empty. On my system
/var/lib/dpkg/alternatives/gnome-text-editor was empty, which made
kill_bad_alternatives() exit when it tried to read the first line ("read
mode").
Solution: Delete /var/lib/dpkg/alternatives/gnome-text-editor (and any
other 0-byte files in /var/lib/dpkg/alternatives/) and try installing
dpkg again.
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dpkg 1.15.3.1ubuntu1 fails to install/upgrade
https://bugs.launchpad.net/bugs/397498
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