I figured it out, and it only took me a couple weeks.
force-reloading ALSA kills qjackctl as well as jackd itself.
I am a derp. I'll go shut up now.
** Changed in: qjackctl (Ubuntu)
Status: Triaged => Invalid
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https://bugs.launchpad.net/bugs/756254
Title:
cannot use "sudo" or "gksudo" in the commands qjackctl runs before
starting jackd
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