I figured out our problem. We lowered `fs.nr_open` on the non-working
systems from the - apparent default - of `1048576` to `655360`. The
docker package set a limit higher than our new limit, so the process was
failing to start.
Upstart is going away - boo - but in case anyone sees this issue in the
future, running the following was the fix for me:
sysctl -w fs.nr_open=1048576
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upstart job fails to start with "limit nofile unlimited unlimited"
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