Update for you all. I forced systemd down to the 16.04 version,
reconfigured it and it was happy. As for upgrading it to the 18.04
version, YOU MUST PURGE THE ENTIRE /usr/lib/tempfiles.d/ DIRECTORY. One
I did that, even thought the install will fail, I was able to get
systemd reconfigured. It now properly responds to dpkg --configure
commands and the system is no longer in a broken state.

As for how to resolve this upstream, I have a felling this has to do
with how WSL handles systemd (as, it doesn't, because WSL ignores
systemd for the most part.) most likely related to the fact that we're
not working with kernels, and systemd doesn't have anything to hook into
during the upgrade.

If you're having trouble with a system you forced to the 18.04 beta let
me know as I'm going to write a script here in a second to resolve the
issue for you.

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https://bugs.launchpad.net/bugs/1748659

Title:
  Windows 10 Ubuntu 16.04 upgrade to 18.04: package systemd 235-3ubuntu3
  failed to install/upgrade: installed systemd package post-installation
  script subprocess returned error exit status 1

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