Monday, October 14, 2002
Get Thee to the
Bedroom and
Start Making Babies!
By JOACHIM
BUWEMBO
It is now official: War
is a catalyst for population growth and peace causes populations to
decline. That is the most striking conclusion from the Uganda 2002
preliminary census results released last
week.
Since the last census,
just over a decade ago, the northern region, which has been
embroiled in war and suffering, has produced more babies than any of
the other three regions, namely eastern, western and notably the
central region, which has known uninterrupted peace for nearly 17
years.
The central region,
which corresponds to the old kingdom of Buganda, had 4.8 million
people in 1991 and has only managed to add 1.7 million in the decade
since, to reach today�s 6.6 million - a 35 per cent
increase.
The north, on the other
hand, grew from a mere 3.1 million people in 1991 to 5.3 million in
2002, adding 2.2 million, or 71 per cent! The east added 2 million
to its 4.2 million over the decade to reach 6.2 million (48 per
cent) while the west added 1.8 million to 1991�s 4.5 million to
reach 6.3 million today (40 per cent).
The least populated
north thus realised a greater population growth than any of the
other three regions. Other things remaining equal, indications are
that in another 10 years� time, the country�s population will have
grown from today�s 24 million to about 36 million, with the eastern
region having most people, followed by the north, Buganda and the
west in that order.
Officials from the
bureau of statistics said that the lives of people in northern
Uganda had been so disrupted by Joseph Kony�s rebellion that they
had little left to do other than make babies.
They have fewer choices,
to borrow the economic term that the statistics officials used. On
the other hand, the statisticians say, the people of Buganda have
been enjoying peace and relative prosperity for so long that making
babies has ceased being their priority; they have other
choices.
Before the statisticians
discovered this trend, however, the Buganda kingdom officials had
already noted with concern that the Kabaka�s subjects were no longer
having enough children.
So the kingdom radio,
CBS, starts the day every morning by reminding the Baganda to have
as many children as possible in order to ensure their society�s
survival. Any Baganda couple that has a baby and lets the station
know is congratulated on air and showered with praises befitting of
heroes. One case that was hailed for days on air was that of
80-something monarchy official, Sheikh Ali Kulumba, whose wife
recently presented him with a bouncing baby
boy.
It is not only the
monarchy that is urging people to have more children. Even staunch
supporters of the ruling Movement tend to share their views.
According to Luwero district chairman and ex-freedom fighter Alhajji
Abdul Nadduli, the family planning campaign is a racket by Western
nations to encourage Ugandans to become extinct.
Other, less bold
Movement leaders also privately express the view that the country�s
population is too low in relation to its enormous development
potential and its ability to feed its people with minimum
effort.
The leaders of the
Buganda kingdom have a different reason for urging the Kabaka�s
subjects to reproduce faster. For several years now, they have been
demanding federal status, which has been denied. They simply lack
the numbers to get a motion through in their favour, be it in
parliament or in the district councils.
Buganda leaders now say
they will only be taken seriously when they become the majority in
the country. The recent figures must therefore be a big blow to the
monarchy. For while Buganda had 29 per cent of the country�s
population in 1991, its share has now fallen to 27 per
cent.
The problem, as the
statisticians noted, is too many choices for the relatively affluent
and stable region. Today, for many men in Kampala, following British
Premiership football is a higher priority than being home with their
wives.
The country�s leading
cartoonist, Mr Ras, for his part blames the decline in Baganda
numbers on the women in the affluent central region. According to
him, the women do not want their men to "mess up" their hair after
they have visited the salon. By thus avoiding physical contact, the
women are causing the extinction of their tribe.
By the same token,
according to Ras, whenever Kony strikes in the north, couples
respond by coming together in a fervent desire to replace their
murdered brethren.
At this rate, the Kabaka
of Buganda may soon have to ban his subjects from visiting beauty
parlours and watching European soccer on TV.
Joachim Buwembo is
Editor of The Sunday Vision of Kampala.
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