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DO not run amok when you come across a newspaper on Ssebaana�s streets christened The Old Vision. Why? Because that�s typically Ugandan.
Yes, Ugandans are fond of copying anything.
I think you have already seen the new toothpaste called �Fresh-Up�. I knew �Close-Up� a few years ago. Don�t get gob smacked when you see �Open-Up� toothpaste or something like �Smile-Up�.
You wake up with a novel idea. You struggle to see it through. Before you even enjoy the profits of the first quarter, somebody is busy starting up the same business and giving it a similar name.
A couple of years ago, somebody came up with the Take Away business. Soon, multitudes were withdrawing millions from their bank accounts to join up this enterprising business. The city was littered with these eateries, some offering lousy and tasteless fries. Soon, the profits dwindled and with modern fast foods outlets like Nando�s, many closed.
In the early 1990s, the Katto family came up with Sanyu FM. Capital followed suit. Today, everybody is setting up a radio station. You can as well listen to two or more radio stations at ago using one set, definitely as a result of congestion of the airwaves.
Before, we had our Radio Uganda with beautiful programmes like Matalisi and Ebirango. there was no congestion on the airwaves.
In order not to be outdone, some boy in Kalerwe started up his own Radio Ssebina. This is a public address system that disturbs everybody in the �hood�. I wasn�t surprised when another copycat started up his very own Radio Mulago. Now these �radios� are virtually in every major township countrywide.
Recently, Radio One came up with Ekimeeza. The local FM boys must be suffering from the imitation bug. Now every other station has got their own version of Ekimeeza. There is Mambo Bado, Saba Saba and Simba wo akati.
Then came the Internet Caf� trade. The business community struggled for space in the ritzy skyscrapers. Now, some are located in toilet-like rooms. That�s life
mwattu! (Ah, I have copied that one too). But as it turned out, it was not a quick money venture as some people thought � ask the people who came up with the Dome cyber cafe.
They closed before they could throw a big party for their first anniversary.
Those who can afford plots of land in the city are now constructing shopping arcades. Before the coming of Pioneer Mall, people never cared about these ceramic-tiled things. Now, we have City Complex, Mukwano and Kafeero.
Mr. Ssekalala has since turned a hotel into a shopping centre along Namirembe road.
Now that we have Garden City, expect another Ugandan to build one very soon. Chris Ireland, don�t think nobody will start up a bowling alley. I promise that somebody will soon start it up in Ntinda or Kansanga and it will be reduced to a game of pool.
Those who started salons can testify. I think ladies love their hair too much. Just start it up in the neighbourhood and someone will abandon his pig- rearing trade for a one. Ugandans are like that. They are simply not innovative.
One day some Ugandans found themselves in London doing odd jobs. They deceived whoever cared to believe that money just flows like River Nile over there.
Some gave away their well-paying jobs while many sold their possessions for that elusive visa. A number of these nkuba kyeyos have since not returned home.
Reason? They can�t afford air tickets back home. Yet, many still queue up at the unfriendly embassy.
The kyeyo returnees then introduced funny things like St. Valentines Day. I remember how somebody�s daughter almost killed me for not buying her a rose like she couldn�t pick one up from her father�s garden. Now people are celebrating Halloween! Most of them don�t have even a clue what the heck it is, just put on masks and off to The Venue.
Then on the Ascots� Goat races day, Ugandans with fat bank accounts descend on Munyonyo Resort to watch goats run. These animals just can�t race, but these guys pay anyway. After
all the day is popular in a certain island somewhere in the winter zones.
In 1993, the Baganda got the chance to see their Kabaka again. Now every tribe wants a king.
Some villages will ask for monarchs soon.
Tease them out by starting up a pork joint and they will follow suit. Look at Nakulabye. After Nicodemus, everybody is struggling for another joint to probably attract the FUFA boss whose offices are nearby.
I think the Red Pepper was a result of the success of Uganda�s pioneer gossip page. By the way, 3am gossip is a column in one of the UK papers. No kudos for Richard Tusiime and co. They just copied it.
Have you heard of Rolex? When the students at Makerere made them popular, everybody started rolling them down. And these things are now everywhere.
There is this fad of getting saved. Everyone is now getting �closer� to the Lord. Those eloquent enough have since become pastors. Those who can�t afford the likes of Rubaga Miracle Cathedral are preaching on the streets. You meet somebody in Royale on a good Saturday and she lectures you about God!
Navin Popat, the Unilever Uganda boss, was quoted as saying recently that some company has started selling a product called Vimu. His multi-national company makes Vim, a household item. �They are creating confusion in the minds of the consumers,� he charged. Welcome to Uganda, the mother place of copycats.
Claire, a student at Makerere University Business School, says that copying is good because it creates competition. �Monopolists are bad people because they always charge at a higher rate. You see now surfing the Internet is down from sh200 to sh20 per a minute.�
The way it is today, copying is still here with us. Don�t be fooled. It will take you years to come up with a novel idea that the businessman-next-door won�t easily forge.
Published on: Saturday, 9th November, 2002 |
