Love And Marriage
From Lorie Kramer
2-6-3
- By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be
happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
--Socrates
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- If you are afraid of loneliness, do not marry.
--Chekhov
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- Long engagements give people the opportunity of
finding out each other's character before marriage, which is never
advisable. --Oscar Wilde
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- Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know
when to be mute.
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- Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...
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- Marriage is the sole cause of divorce.
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- Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does
insanity.
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- Don't marry for money; you can borrow it
cheaper.
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- Feminists are OK, I just wouldn't want my sister to
marry one.
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- Nuns: Women who marry god. If they divorce Him, do
they get half the universe?
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- The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to
keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx
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- We in the industry know that behind every successful
screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. --Groucho
Marx
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- Why bother with marriage? Just find a woman you hate
and buy her a house.
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- I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel
like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair
curlers to burn my toast for me. --Dick Martin
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- If you never want to see a man again, say, "I love
you, I want to marry you, I want to have children..." - they'll leave
skid marks. --Rita Rudner
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- My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came
home from work one day and found me in bed with her. --Lenny
Bruce
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- My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a
cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay, In better spirits
night and day.
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- One cardinal rule of marriage should never be
forgotten: give little, give seldom, and above all, give grudgingly.
Otherwise, what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy
of sexual lust. --Ruth Smythers, Marriage advice for women, 1894
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- There is no realizable power that man cannot, in time,
fashion the tools to attain, nor any power so secure that the naked ape
will not abuse it. So it is written in the genetic cards - only physics
and war hold him in check. And the wife who wants him home by five, of
course. --Encyclopaedia Apocryphia
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- Happy Vasectomy, Eric. Your loving wife and children:
Chris, Aida, George, Carol, Yolanda, Joan, Shirley, Susan, Anita,
Aileen, Jackie, Shelia, Bruce, Dean, Frank and Maxine. --Rolling Stone
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