As a member of the black race, which for centuries has been at the receiving end of the most iniquitous forms of discrimination, exploitation and oppression, capped by slave trade, colonialism, and more recently, apartheid - to name but a few, I refuse to join in the universal bashing of people who've chosen to pursue a different sexual orientation.
Homosexuality, we are all agreed, is an aberration, a baffling act against the order of nature as we know it.
What if the homos can't help it? Has it ever occurred to us there could be a possibility, however remote, of a perverse genetic disorder which, for some reason, afflicts a tiny proportion of humanity?
How do you explain the decision of a seemingly normal man to shun a smooth ride along Kampala Road in a plush space-age car costing Shs 400m under the free guidance of a traffic policewoman, in preference for a filthy swim along the super polluted Nakivubo Channel?
Yes, I know my Bible as well as the next person.
I, too, know that God created Adam and Eve and not Adam and Steve.
And when God instructed Noah to build an Ark and admit a pair of each type of animal on the face of the earth prior to the annihilation by floods of all life, we are told, "there went in two and two unto Noah into the Ark, the male and the female".
Not Mr and Mr Zebra, but Mr and Mrs Zebra, Mr and Mrs Elephant, Mr and Mrs Dog, etc.
This must have been one hell of an environmental hazard, which then Hon. Lukyamuzi has pledged to investigate.
I also know that Leviticus decreed in the Old Testament "no man is to have sexual relations with another man; God hates that "LEV 18:22.
A couple of chapters later, he adds, "if a man has sexual relations with another man, they have done a disgusting thing, and both shall be put to death.
They are responsible for their own death". LEV 20:13.
St Paul in his letter to the Romans is equally uncompromising:
"Even the women pervert the natural use of their sex by unnatural acts. In the same way the men give up natural sexual relations with women and burn with passion for each other. Men do shameful things with each other, and as a result they bring upon themselves the punishment they deserve for their wrongdoing". ROM 1:26-27.
But all told, you don't need an old black book to tell you where to insert your male organ.
Whoever designed life - human, animal, insect, and plant life - knew exactly what he was doing. You do not fuel your car from the exhaust fumes pipe.
There is an appropriate orifice.
And if you want to perpetuate the species then by golly you'd better insert things where they belong.
I am not going to rub my beard against another man's scraggy beard and call him 'Baby' despite his deep voice, all in the name of modern love.
Which would appear to be contradiction in terms, considering how I opened this piece. It isn't.
While I call for compassion, understanding and a deeper scientific interrogation of homosexuality and lesbianism, I also recognise that there have been strategic mistakes on both sides of the sexual divide.
While Jesus Christ never shunned the company of lepers, lunatics, prostitutes and the physically challenged, we should perhaps also remember the Igbo saying that when you offer a leper a handshake, he will want an embrace.
What is the Rev. Gene Robinson doing wearing the holy frock?
Who ordained this man priest knowing (i) that he was divorced, something
Leviticus deplores among the clergy, and (ii) that he had re-married a fellow man? And now that he has lived with his man-wife for all of fourteen years, what peculiar qualities of leadership is he going to offer the Anglicans of New Hampshire? Bogus.
Be gay by all means, if you can't help it; but don't go around flaunting it in street parades and splashing around a lot of dirty money to entrap poor people. Heterosexual people do not go about publicly proclaiming their sexual orientation in street marches and parades.
Why should the gays do so?
The last time Jesus was here he effected the first amendment of the Bible.
Where the old law had demanded an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, Jesus advocated turning the other cheek. Where the Old Testament mandated the stoning to death of fornicators, Jesus worked for their reform and conversion. One hardcore prostitute became a saint!
So whoever wants to bless same-sex marriages and ordain homosexuals priests and bishops, should begin by instituting the second amendment of the Bible - if he has both the balls and the authority.
Otherwise this whole business stinks to high heaven and Africans and other like-minded people will be justified in breaking away from the mainstream Anglican Church.
Put Dracula in charge of the blood bank, would you?
You might as well recruit Joseph Kony as a janitor in a convent or nunnery full of pure, untouched sisters. Hopeless.
