Men also cry
What does it feel like when you go to the salon and find that the client your hairdresser is seeing is a man? CATHERINE AWUOR makes her thoughts known.
I've never really figured out what is meant by telling men to get in touch with their feminine side. Actually, that's not entirely true. I figure it means they should be more sensitive to other people's feelings and theirs as well.
I was at a seminar some time back where women were being encouraged to let their men cry. The idea didn't sit too well with many women though. I mean, for your husband to cry at funerals and other tragedies is okay. However, to have him cry when he dents the car or has an argument with his boss or best friend? That's something else.
I'm all for the more caring bit but I'm not too sure about this crying thing. I am one of those women who cry at almost everything. I cried when the beast almost died in the cartoon classic 'Beauty and the Beast'. I cry when I read some stories in the Reader's Digest. Now, the thought of having a man who would cry with me at such times is enough to permanently dry my lachrymal glands.
I'm sure I'm not alone though. How many of you give men holding hands in the street a second and even a third look? There's something that just doesn't sit right with us when we see this. We have been conditioned to think of men in a certain way and a man who cries or walks holding hands with other men is just not normal.
I came across a new word this week, tried it on a number of people and none had ever heard it. An internet search of the word produced pages and pages of results. The word is metrosexual. The meaning: A dandyish narcissist in love with not only himself, but also his urban lifestyle, a straight man who is in touch with his feminine side. It was recognised as an English word sometime in the nineties. If the words dandyish and narcissist don't mean much to you, let me put it this way:
1) It is that man who made you wait to be seen by your hairdresser because he doesn't have his hair cut by just any barber. He has it styled by a hairdresser. It still amazes me when I have to wait my turn at the sink because some man is having his scalp shampooed and massaged.
2) Do you know a man who has facials, manicures and pedicures done? Did you, albeit unfairly, wonder at his sexual orientation? Next time you are sitting next to a man having his face steamed or his nails done, don't assume he is something he may not be. A metrosexual is very concerned about his appearance and may own more moisturisers and toners than the average woman.
3) Have you ever been to a rugby match, gone to a club or even the beach and found a man immaculately dressed in a suit, as inappropriate as it was for the occasion? A metrosexual is always, very well dressed, in the latest style.
Now you know. Apparently, the poster boy for metrosexuals is David Beckham with his sarongs and nice hairstyles.
Not wanting to be accused (again) of being anti-men, I asked a few friends to give their take on things they find weird in some men. Those things that make them go, "hmmm" and wonder about the boy.
1) A man who watches soaps. It doesn't matter that the woman watches it too, some just find it odd that a man knows that Bo is now with Hope and Sami wants Austin back. On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being weirdest, it gets a seven.
2) A man who has teddy bears on his bed, sofa, in his car etc. If his girlfriend gave them to him and insists on him displaying them, that's okay. However, if he bought them himself, sound the alarm. This gets an eight.
3) Forget the moisturisers, toners and conditioners, those can be forgiven. A man who has lip balm or scented face wipes, now, that's scary. If a man whips out that cute small container of cherry flavoured lip balm or wipes off sweat with a scented face wipe, enough eyebrows will be raised. On the scale of 1 to 10? A whopping 9.5!
4) Have you ever gone to a bachelor's house and found a poster of a male singer or actor very prominently displayed on the wall. A friend told me of a time she went to a prospective boyfriend's place for lunch. A poster of half-clad Leonardo DiCaprio shattered any hopes she may have had for a relationship with him. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 for sure.
5) Right from childhood it is accepted that pink is for girls and blue is for boys. Of course, this changes later in life, many women wear blue. However, it is hard enough for a woman to get away with wearing pink. It's not an easy colour to wear. Some men's shirts in pink are okay, but not all. A man in a light pink anything, trouser, sweatshirt, screams sissy. On a scale of 1 to 10, 6.
6) A man who asks for a loan from women. Once is okay, twice maybe but any more than that, where's the pride? Of course if you are very good friends it's understandable. However, for a male colleague or just an acquaintance to ask for a loan, that's strange. What happened to men having each other's back? In this era of maintaining an image, you'd think he'd go through all his friends before he asked a woman. On a scale of 1 to ten, 7.
Don't shoot the messenger. I only say it as I hear it. Nothing wrong with doing any of the above if you're comfortable, just don't go wondering why you're still a bachelor. As for those who are sharing my hairdresser, come on, don't you have a game to watch on Saturday or something? We're more than happy to leave you the salon every other day of the week.
