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OLD MAN�S CORNER
By F.D.R. Gureme |
Striptease dancing is in order
Nov 18, 2003
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In what the fastidious would term a �dirty� joke, there are several contests between an old and a younger man. At beer consumption the old man concedes defeat after the fifth half-pint. He does better at whisky the next day: when the young man gives in halfway down a bottle of Scotch. Next they engage women in the same room. The old man gives in after the first round. Later he suggests that the next match be about �endurance,� i.e. who can best resist the sight of naked women at a beauty contest. The two contestants relax naked on a bench as they watch catwalks of progressively scantier �disrobements.� As an accurate measure of excitability - wires are attached to their sex tools, connected to electric bells. Flickers are detected in the young man�s bell at the mini dress stage. By the bikini, his bell�s toll is quite loud. By the nude stage it is continuously tolling. But when the girls throw their legs wide, the noise is deafening: his penis pointing to his mouth. He has clearly lost to the old man; whose bell is �mute!� And, in order to show off his extraordinary restraint, triumphant Mzee (now listen!) stands up and knots his malleable tool, to deafening cheers. Regardless of age, there are different degrees of excitability among men. I am one of the more apathetic about women�s sexual parts despite my normalcy. I did art under Margaret Trowel, after whose name Makerere�s School of Fine Art is named. She was fascinated by my partiality to the aesthetic female figure, which I consistently drew. I watched my first striptease in Nairobi at the East African Staff College, courtesy of the course organisers. Gambling and these burlesques punctuated a dinner over many hours. I was disgusted by the unshaven, sloppy and untoward crotches. Unless I was eating I idled my time about the gambling room. There has been, in my view, unnecessary ado about the nude female dance styled �ekimansulo,� where police, still breathing fire and brimstone, has arrested some women, the men watchers walking off free. In Buganda itself, Ssekabaka Sir Daudi Chwa is known to have entertained his male intimates and himself watching the �kifule� dance, in the dead of night, where women with the most elongated labia extensions danced naked. Thus I see no reason why the naked women within clubhouses, and the organisers should be harassed; or priggishly denounced by a Buganda minister for that matter. Assuming our society is sensible, people may avoid such clubs. If they do not, then it is their own lookout. If these shows were during daytime I might find myself going down to watch female figures. This may be debatable. But listen. Earlier, during the deceased Idi Amin�s rule, lots of Muslim galas were held on Sundays in different places. Returning to Kampala, from Kabwohe, with kids in the car, I came across a fresh accident 14 miles on the Mbarara-Fort Portal Road. I stopped about one hundred yards past the scene, telling the children to remain in the car. I hastened to the scene of the dead and dying; besides an overturned lorry; and gave whatever assistance I could. In those days adults were apprehensive of women and children watching corpses, blood...although these became common sights later. I wrote this story in my former Sunday column �Old Man About Town,� criticising Bukedde for publishing such dreadful photographs. That Sunday �Old Man...� did not come out for obvious reasons. I am glad to note that, apart from a recent photo of a bashed lorry, The Monitor, in which I normally write, has decently desisted from publishing such horrifying pictures. I would, any time (during the day), take my grandchildren to an ekilmansulo show and give them simple anatomy lessons, on familiar forms, than see them recoil at headless bodies, severed limbs and exposed human intestines; or watching scenes of shootouts on Television. I appeal to Information minister Nsaba Buturo to do something and media associations to curtail the publication of images of blood and death. Contact: 077 401173 |
� 2003 The Monitor Publications
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