A groovy world out there for singletons
By Loy Nabeta

Dec 12, 2003

I will not say that I am for or against marriage. But I think we need to make the best of whatever situation we find ourselves in.

It is possible to have great fun with colllleagues without any romance undertones (File photo).
Some people just have no clue what to expect of marriage when they get into one. Others have no idea what do with themselves as single people.

I understand being single to mean not being married. But you can get to 'see' people - intimately, if you may - and please remember to always use condoms.

But there is something I would like to share with those who are single and not 'seeing' anyone.

There is this woman called Charlene that I feel so blessed to have as a friend. She is single. And she is my role model in many things and not just with living single.

This below is an excerpt from any email she wrote me on Monday when she failed to get me on the phone: -

"...No problem, I'll keep trying to call you - I do not give up easily - will check the Internet to calculate the time difference.


"My schedule is somewhat erratic. I'm often home by seven p.m. on weekdays and on Saturday and Sunday mornings... but sometimes I do things on impulse like go to a show or have a drink and dinner after work or go shopping or whatever!

"Yes I still have a slight cold - it did slow me down this weekend just a bit, but that was sort of a good thing because I read the wonderful new book by Toni Morrison, Love. I thoroughly enjoyed it! I also spent most of Saturday shopping... don't get too excited... it was mostly practical stuff like food, skin care products, and mouthwash, oh and of course the book!

"After all of that shopping I was exhausted so I took myself to a cheap Mexican joint and had some hot snacks and a HUGE HUGE Margarita! Girl, they are soooooo good! I sat there and enjoyed my book the drink the food and the sunshine..."

"On Sunday the cold was kicking my butt so I did not go to church... I just read the book, talked on the phone, cleaned up a little and cooked a great dinner (a chicken stew recipe from my friends from Kenya). I opened up a bottle of wine and just chilled! Oh I forgot the music; of course I had company...Lucky Dube, Miles Davis, Nora Jones, India Irie, Kenny Rogers, and Tweet!

"Yeah I would like to have made love with a good man... but the three of us ME, MYSELF, & I made great company!!!"

Now there is a woman after my own heart! If you are one of those who are single out there and feel lost, here is what you can do with yourself: -

** Keep lots of money to pamper yourself with.

** Go to the movies; and focus on the movie not on the couples around you. Laugh out loud when you must or scream "s**t" if that's what the moment demands.

** Go to dinner - Chinese, Indian, African, whatever. What's life and money about if not for cheering ourselves? Go for a beer by yourself! Don't mind about the people who are staring; they are none of your business.

** Find time to go the health club, not just for steam-bath or sauna but to exercise. Exercise is good for both married and single people! Walk, jog, buy a bike and ride... there are many ways to exercise.

** Go out - by yourself or with a group of happy (girl) friends and don't make the subject 'men'. Laugh, riot, drink, have fun...

** Go to the beaches, the parks, to the places that you see in the papers; you can go there with friends or by yourself. Carry a good book, a mat and a Walkman and enjoy.

** Don't live your life waiting for the moment when you will 'get hooked', or married for that matter, because there are no guarantees that you will be happy in any relationship.

** In or out of a relationship, your prime focus should be on being happy. The only way to achieve this is by being in charge of your life and doing things that make you happy.


� 2003 The Monitor Publications


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