The kind of man not worth dating
By Sarah Namatovu
Jan 16 - 22, 2004
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When you start dating, you want the ideal man, the one who won't make you regret having met him. Dating the right man is interesting and any woman can achieve this by avoiding the wrong guy. Sarah Namatovu advises on men to avoid. The married man This man has a wife or more (depending on his religion and financial status). So, what on earth would prompt any reasonable female into dating this man? He is only going to bring you misery. First, his wife/wives won't like the idea of their man's attention being drawn by you. So if they react by hurling acid or boiling water at you, don't blame them. Secondly, this man is never going to be around when you need him most. Remember that you are the intruder so you will always take second place in his life.
In addition to all this, you are always going to sneak around whenever you go out with him and this includes never getting a chance to ride in his car or going together to a public place since he is scared of being noticed by someone who knows his marital status. The widower Those who are still searching should also avoid the widower. Okay, he lost a wife or two and you should sympathise with him but that is where you should stop. If you go ahead and fall in love with him, you are bringing trouble unto yourself. What guarantee do you have that he is or will ever get over his dead wife/wives? If you reject my advice, prepare yourself for a lifetime of misery. This guy will always talk about his late wife, how he misses her, how they used to have fun and how he wishes he could turn back the hands of time. Apart from that, his relatives might reject you especially if you don't measure up to the their expectations. If you still don't mind living with such a man, go ahead but don't say I didn't warn you. A father The father is another kind to stay away from. If he does you the favour of letting you know about or even introducing you to his children, you should thank him profusely but say goodbye as fast as you can. I say this, because this guy will only bring you misery. If you think he will be overjoyed at your having a baby, think again. Don't forget that he has seen all there is to see about kids and is probably tired of the strain his first lot has brought unto him. If you are lucky, he won't ask you to terminate your pregnancy but don't expect him to pay extra attention to your kid. In addition to this, brace yourself for the mistreatment his kids are going to unleash onto you. However small or mature they may be, nothing will stop them from giving you a hard time because they know that you are attempting to take their mother's place. The unemployed man If you are not in a hurry to get a partner, steer clear of the unemployed man unless you are willing to share the little you have with him, which isn't worth the trouble since men never appreciate what women do for them. Considering the fact that men rarely repay the favour that women do them when they are down, don't waste time "putting your cash in him", as the current saying goes. So don't go buying him clothes, airtime, food, a car or paying his bills like graduated tax or rent yet he should be the one doing that. You will only end up encouraging him to be a spendthrift and a lazy dog since he knows that you will always provide for him. If you have too much money and don't have anything to do with it, at least give it to me because I won't spend it on other women like he will. Unless you haven't heard of cases where men only date rich women to get presents and money to take to their other girlfriends. In other words, he wants you for your money since it is the one that finances his other relationship. To prove my point, test him by telling him that you have lost your job and can longer provide for his needs. He won't go to look for a job but will only dump you since what he wanted from you is gone. Ladies should also distance themselves from the divorced man. Some people think that because he is divorced, he is up for the taking. However, this isn't always the case so you shouldn't rush into a relationship with him especially if you don't know the circumstances that forced them to get a divorce. First of all, Uganda's divorced couples are in their own league simply because they don't handle divorce the way it should be handled. What we consider as divorce is actually separation. A couple gets a misunderstanding and one party moves out for sometime. This doesn't mean that it is over between them and that is where many people go wrong. So you meet this man and before long start dating him. You ask him about his past and he tells you he is divorced and would never consider going back to his ex. I am sure every woman has experienced or at least heard about this ex-business. Men have a weakness with their past relationships and will always hold out a light for them especially if it was their very first marriage. If you enter into such a relationship, don't cry to anyone when 'your man' has a change of heart and decides to patch things up with his ex. The womaniser The last in this edition is the womaniser. Maybe I don't need to warn you against this one but I will anyway. If you make this terrible and unforgivable error, you are going to age long before your time. You might even be mistaken for 45 yet you are only 26. I am not exaggerating here but falling in love with a womaniser is the most sickening, irritating, tiring and annoying experience. It is from his escapades that he will gather all kinds of sickness and transmit them to you. What makes matters worse is the fact men normally brag about it and will even ask you to leave if you can't handle their lifestyle. Now how can anyone live with such a man? I have heard of some outrageous claims from men that there are more women than men or that there is no man for one woman. According to them, it is very normal for a man to have as many sexual partners as possible. But let a woman get another partner, she then becomes a whore/slut. If you still haven't got my point, you are probably reading a wrong column. I know there are many other kinds of men that aren't worth dating but according to a small survey I conducted, those were the most detested kinds. There are many good men outside the above-mentioned categories but the problem is that most women aren't patient. If you take your time, you will meet a man who is not a widower, a father, a womaniser, unemployed or divorced. Good luck to you all. |
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