Ever wondered why the other woman always gets the married man?
It's because she cooks better than you do, says OYUNGA PALA.
Men, have never had it so good. We are not even talking about the eligible man anymore. The net has been cast far and wide and any man, single or married who takes care of his business will be pursued with a passion. It is as though we are living in such lean times that the average woman doesn't seem to have any qualms about sharing.
I always wondered what it was about married men that made them so attractive to other women. I suppose it's proof of ability to provide. The guru once told me that the best way to court favourable female attraction was to walk in with favourable female company. It always works. Walk around unaccompanied and you'll never score. That explains why we have lots of desperate single brothers who just cannot explain why women have nothing but a passing fancy in them. Women generally do not trust single men simply because if you are going to cheat on them, they would like to know what the competition looks like. Not so much out of spite but out of comparison. It's a power game of sorts.
Apparently, infidelity in itself doesn't seem to be the problem. That is something women have come to accept of men. The issue is actually the person selected as an accomplice in this act of transgression. If you have a beautiful wife and you make the blunder of sleeping with the barmaid, who your wife outweighs in every department, you are in trouble. That is considered outright malice. Abandoning a fine-looking woman for one not as physically endowed is unforgivable as far as women are concerned.
If you are caught with your pants down with a catwalk model look-a-like, the possibility of pardon is highly likely. In the same breath, the older, more financially secure woman does not seem to find the young cute ones as threatening. They are not considered competition. That's why the so-called kept men always have a slim, brown number tucked away somewhere in the background. Bring an older woman into the play at your peril.
One thing I have always found amusing is the amazing disparity between the rural and the modern woman's response to her man's infidelity. The modern woman always blames the man and is usually at pains trying to understand how the shift suddenly occurred. The rural woman has no illusions. She realises the man is weak and that for as long as she allows the other woman free passage to her husband, she will continue to suffer. Which is why when I proclaim that no woman in her right mind will let another woman walk into her turf and take what's hers, the young urban woman's response will be "absolute buffoonery". It's the typical illusion of romantic love. The woman who follows the Western mindset will then go into a tirade over lipstick on a shirt collar and demand an explanation. The man will simply remain silent, take off and come hours later either drunk and in no state to converse or with a gift behaving absolutely lovable.
The woman will be under the assumption that the matter has been laid to rest and drop her guard. What the husband has done is to simply change tactics; he will pack an extra shirt to counter such inevitabilities. The more the wife yells, the more she drives him away and soon, he really doesn't care if she finds out. He is at a point where separation becomes a very viable option because the other woman is everything that his wife isn't. Soon he is avoiding the house all together, only sneaking in only to sleep as the cold war reaches escalating heights. The wife finds herself in a pretty precarious position. But divorce isn't an option.
The man happens to be a good provider if only he could stop philandering. Secondly, she is not in a financial position to go it alone, besides there is the issue of shared property. What about the kids? The only option seems to be to stick it out and solicit sympathy from the girls over a drink. Or run up terrific phone bills calling her confidantes.
The rural woman on the other hand handles the matter very differently. She gathers concrete evidence, to confirm whether or not it's a passing fling. Next she sizes up the competition. If the competition is tacky, she runs her out of town with a broom or hovers over her man like an evil spirit. If the competition is strong, she quickly seeks an alliance and even proposes to her husband that he should consider inviting her into the fold as a co-wife. In one quick manoeuvre, she averts a crisis, retaining her privileges, and stopping the husband from spending all his money outside the home.
It now becomes the co-wife's responsibility to ensure that the man doesn't stray.
Cheating is simply a bad habit like smoking that men picked up somewhere in their youth. It doesn't come with a jail term and the better you get at it, the more sought-after you are. Soon, the man is hooked and not even a wedding ring and the most gracious woman in the world will get him off this habit. Hence the reason women seem surprised when a man seeks pleasure elsewhere even when he is married to a well-endowed angel.
The saying is that men are programmed to promiscuity by evolution. It was an effective survival strategy for propagation of the species.
Society was, however, not too comfortable with that arrangement and managed quite successfully for a while to keep the man bound to one female. Maybe we should make allowance but that would be ridiculous. Times have changed and any man who uses biology as an excuse really needs to update. Just because a behaviour is instinctive doesn't mean it's good. The reason the modern moth has such a high casualty rate is because it still insists on following it's instinctive attraction to bright lights and in the process, flies straight into a zapper and is incinerated instantly. The modern man fortunately has a choice, which accords him the ability to avoid self-destruction as a result of blindly following his biological urges.
In tackling infidelity, we must realise that men do not operate in isolation. For as long as there are women out there who do not mind playing second fiddle, men will be promiscuous. The two parties are joined at the hip. However, the reason the other woman always seems to turn the tables on the wife is because, most wives forget about the sweet things they said and did to get their men that they have to keep saying and doing in order to keep them. You snooze you lose.
PS: A very reliable source tells me that having a double bed is one rapid way to kill your love life. Constant togetherness is great but only for Siamese twins. Get your own separate bed and make sure every time you invite the other over, it will be worth their while.
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