By Agiresaasi Apophia
March 12 - 18, 2004
|
Many girls are still being advised by peers, parents and relatives to grab the first marriage opportunity that smiles upon them.
And, sadly, some girls relent. And in the process, many buy a one-way ticket to disaster in the process. Why do people marry? Is it just to be counted among the married or to experience mutual love and acceptance? If the first suitor meets those expectations, that is fine. After all, who wants to have a string of boyfriends and broken relationships as if to boost their curriculum vitae? But should you get married to the first suitor even when you cannot find a trace of happiness with him? Tom, a Masters� student at Makerere University, said it is senseless to take advantage of your youthfulness to hook a man. �If somebody married you today because you are 18, would he not leave you later because you are older? Well, it is normal and healthy to worry especially as the years advance. Truth is, even if you searched till you were 80, you would never meet the perfect person. Three first year University students I know chose to respond to �society�s call�. They grabbed the first train that rambled down the marital track. By third year, two were not only divorced, they had a hoard of papers to retake. Divorced, at 21! That was not enough. They had been stamped by babies of the men who had hurt them and scarred by the caesarean births. Doesn�t this render their chances of getting married again slimmer? After all, they are already disgusted with the institution of marriage after experiencing those years of hell in it. After you have clocked 30, and any man walks your way, society will expect you to embrace the �opportunity� with arms outstretched like one stranded on an island would a rescue team. If you do not comply with society�s expectations, they will say, you are bewitched. If you have a stepmother, she will shoulder the blame. Is marriage a question of when you get married or to whom you get married? Is society blind to those that get married at 50 and live happily there after? �Love is love. It transcends age. When you have a heart for somebody, age becomes a non issue,� says Mr Okot who is dating a girl two years older than he is. Recently, one Rose announced to her parents that she was going to introduce her man to them. Without questioning his credentials, their faces beamed with such joy that they had not experienced in the last decade. Since then, she has received preferential treatment from them. Does marriage connote happiness? Whereas society may have the best intentions at heart, one must first listen to him or herself. One writer said that the sure way to failure is to try to please everybody. At times, you may have to disagree with people. For any one who is living and not just existing, thriving and not just surviving, optimism is the way forward. Is marriage an end in itself? If death is not an end, how can marriage be? Is it not better to miss marriage than to �miss-marry�? The boys are not spared either. If you are 25 and have not been seen skirt-chasing, woe unto you! Worse still society will brand you impotent. Does the number of sexual encounters one has had measure sexual potency or by how many children one has begotten? If so, is it not a mad world?
|
� 2004 The Monitor Publications
Yahoo! Messenger - Communicate instantly..."Ping" your friends today! Download Messenger Now
