ugnet_: Re: True or false? - Relationships 101

[Rehema Mukooza]

Ed:

 

How long can Lust Last?

1st of all, Lust is the inordinate craving for the indulgence of the carnal pleasure (sex).

Lust will last for as long as the craving for the carnal pleasure from someone lasts.  Once this craving is satisfied, the Lust for someone will go AWAY.

 

When is Desire different from Lust?

2idly, Desire is to wish or long for; want someone.  Desire is different from Lust in a way that it lasts, well as Lust can never last long.  In sexual terms, Lust can allow people to sleep with one person to the next (thousands of sexual partners).  Why??  Because once the Lust's craving for that particular person is satisfied, it fades away, and the Luster moves on to the next person to satisfy his/her craving for the person next in line.  With Desire, the wishing for, longing for that same person can be there no matter how much one has been with that very same person.

 

To explain it better:

If you crave to sleep with a woman (wanna tame what's in between the legs) and you know that you will not have any more interest in that woman after sex, that is Lust.  You will soon move on to the next woman who will catch your eye and stir another craving, Lust.  

If you wish for, long to sleep with a woman (wishing that what she offers will last) and you know that you are interested in other things about this woman, other than sex, that is Desire. 

 

When is Love different from Desire?

Love is a recognition of deep, intense, attractive qualities, which leads to feelings of desire towards a person, and a sense of underlying oneness with whom one is disposed to make a pair.  When a man/woman Loves a man/woman, he/she definitely Desires him/her in the emotion of sex and romance. 

Desire is to wish or long for; want someone.  One can Desire someone without Loving him/her.  Why??  Because Love is not a component of Desire.  Well as, one can not Love someone without Desiring him/her.  Why??  Because there is Desire within Love; Desire is among the components of Love. 

 

If there is no Love, there is no Desire, and therefore it is Lust.  If the Desire fades, Lust will definitely fade, and a relationship is NO MORE.  That's when couples realize that they were not in Love in the first place and were responding to their Desires. 

 

The real difference between Love and Desire is that; Love lasts and Desire can either last or fade.  Love targets the lasting (eternal) Desire, well as Desire can either last or fade.  Love is deeper than Desire.

 

If you Love a woman, the relationship will last forever (there is more than Desire in play).  If you only Desire a woman, the relationship will last for a while (for as long as you can keep the Desire coming).  If you only Lust for a woman, there is even no hope for a relationship.

 

Can you Like, Want and Lust for your Love?

1st of all, I don't know how someone can want what he/she already has, unless if he/she wishes for more.  I am talking about wanting one's own Love.  Usually people want what they don't have.  They only time someone can want Love with he/she already has is when he/she thinks he/she don't have it.  Now, that would be a psychological mess up.

 

Yes, people do often like their love if it satisfies their psychological needs.  The only time people will hate their Love is when it is causing them psychological torment and not meeting their needs.  E.g, like loving a man or woman who does not love you.  You will hate that Love you have towards her because it is psychologically tormenting or torturing you.  Usually most people will deal with it by accepting that that person does not love them, or force themselves to hat that person by finding all sorts of reasons or wrong things about person.  A reason to hate that person, which really is a reason to hate that Love they have for that person.  Do you get it??

 

I don't know about Lusting for one's own Love. That's weird!  People usually Lust for other's Love.  Or maybe a suicidal person might Lust for his/her Love when he/she is about to kill him/herself.  Maybe it's that last Lust for their own Love that saves them from killing themselves at the last minute.  How knows?  It's a thought.  Maybe that's what they call realizing that they love themselves and that life is too important to throw it away by committing suicide.  Who knows?  You tell me.  Now, that is a Love different from the Love we are talking about. 

 

 

Zakoomu M.

 

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Ed Kironde <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:

Relationships 101

Rehema:    How long can Lust Last?

                When is Desire different from Lust?

                When is Love different from Desire?

                Can you Like, Want and Lust for your Love?

 

-----Original Message-----
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Rehema Mukooza
Sent: Thursday, April 29, 2004 7:22 PM
To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]; [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Subject: ugnet_: Re: True or false?

 

Ssemakula:

 

Are you married? to a woman(s?) who looks like your mother??  True or False??

 

Speaking for myself as a woman, I would not waste my time with a man who looks like my father, acts like him, talks like him, etc.  Why?? = I would need something different.  The moment I detect characterists of my father in a man, I drop him like its hot! 

 

A man's natural scent (not colognes) can tell a lot whether a woman is attracted to him or not; if she finds his scent offensive, there is no attration, the relationship will not last.  The same goes for the man, if he does not like the scent of a woman, the attraction is not there, the relationship is doomed not to last, it is Lust. 

 

EvOLuTiON: women can just look at a man and make up their minds if his scent is offensive or magnetic.  Just by sight alone with no sense of smell involved!  Women keep such details to themselves.  Smart women listen to their natural, survival instincts, and filter out men of poor genes.  Who needs a mixture with such lazy genes??  We don't!

 

I feel sorry for men who buy flowers, candy, jewery, clothes, etc to impress a woman.  Well, non-smart women will simply accept to go with this guy with money even if their natural instincts are against it, as long as the man is economically secure.  Such nonsense has lead to an increase in the occurance of genetically passed down diseases such as diabetics, cancer, asthma, high blood pressure, heart attacks, etc especially in developing countries where poverty is focusing women to marry or get mates for financial security.

 

Therefore people, with all the nonsense you hear about women going with men who have money, do not be surprised if the mentioned diseases increase in the future young generation.  Almost every part of the world is reporting increases in these diseases.  Do you think these women will turn away from money??  You must be kidding!  The future generation's gene pool is going to be a disaster if money is the key.  The signs for genetic disasters are already here.

 

If you ever find out that you got diabetic, heart attacks, cancers, asthmatic, infertile, suicidal, etc, blame your mother for choosing the wrong mate (your father) to have fathered you.  Your mother should have listened to her natural instincts and waited for a genetically compatible sperm to fertilize her eggs.  Money has nothing to do with genetic compatibility towards making a genetically, physically, fit offspring.  Ha ha ha ha ha ha...thank Allah that there is medical advancement and technology to help out those poor genes folks.

 

 

Zakoomu M.

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james ssemakula <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:

Women marry men who look like dad

00:01 28 April 04

NewScientist.com news service

Women tend to choose husbands who look like their fathers - even if they are adopted, reveals a new study. The research shows that women use their dads as a template for picking a mate by a process called "sexual imprinting", says Tamas Bereczkei at the University of P�cs in Hungary and colleagues. Husbands and wives have long been suggested to look alike and this is known to occur in many animal species. Couples that look like each other are also more likely to share common genes, and having a degree of similarity is believed to beneficial. This might explain the study's findings, suggests Glenn Weisfeld, one of the research team and a human ethologist at Wayne State University, Detroit, US "There seems to be an advantage for animals to select a mate somewhat similar to themselves genetically," he told New Scientist. "One good possibility is that there are some fortuitous genetic combinations which are retained in the offspring if both parents are similar," he says. "In humans there is evidence to show a lower rate of miscarriage." However, he points out that there is a balance between the benefits of marrying someone genetically close and the harmful effects of inbreeding. "There seems to be an ideal balance, maybe around the first or second cousin point." Newborn ducklings Imprinting is a fast, instinctive form of learning, perhaps best known from the phenomenon in which newborn ducklings bond with the first object they see. To test whether women use imprinting to base their marital choices on the appearance of their fathers, the researchers took 26 adoptive families and examined how alike various family members looked. Using adoptive families meant inherited preferences could be ruled out. Nearly 250 students were asked to rate similarities within three sets of photos. The first showed photos of the wife and four possible husbands, one of whom was the real spouse. The second showed a photo of the adoptive father as he would have looked when his daughter was between two and eight years of age, and the possible husbands. The third set showed the adoptive mother and the four possible husbands. The students correctly matched husbands and wives significantly more than they would have by chance alone. But the similarity between husbands and adoptive fathers was most striking. Where the judges might have matched a quarter of the husbands with the fathers by chance, they actually matched 38 per cent correctly. There was no significant resemblance between the husband and the adoptive mother. Emotional warmth An "unexpected" finding, says Weisfeld, was that fathers who were judged by their daughters to have showed the most emotional warmth were much more likely to have son-in-laws who looked like them. "Our results support the notion of a long-lasting effect of attachment during childhood on later mating preferences," the team concludes. They suggest that people form a "mental model" of their opposite-sex parent's appearance, which they then seek out in later life. But Weisfeld points out that mating decisions are complex in humans and many other biological and social factors will play a part. For example, studies have shown that a person's smell can also help someone judge how related they are to a potential partner. Journal reference: Proceedings of the Royal Society of London B (DOI: 10.1098/rspb.2003.2672)

Shaoni Bhattacharya

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