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You might well say, only in Britain. Three men - Michael O�Brien, Vincent Hickney, and Michael Hickney - spent up to 18 years in prison for murders they didn�t commit. After they were cleared of the charges, they sued the State and were compensated.
O�Brien got �647,900 (Sh97m), Michael �990,000 (Sh148m), and Vincent �506,220 (Sh76m).
The Guardian reports that the British Home Office went to court in Cardiff to ask that the men be ordered to repay 25 per cent of their compensation to the government because they did not have to pay their living costs while in jail (don�t mind that they were wrongfully jailed).
The courts ruled that it was a sensible demand. The paper says that the �bed and breakfast� ruling appears to be peculiar to the prison system in England and Wales.
While the British authorities are being stingy, the Spanish Government, on the other hand, was spending taxpayers� money on things the bishops might not approve of.
The Guardian, again, says that the government sponsored a survey that found that more than a quarter of Spanish men have paid for sex with a prostitute, the highest proportion of any European country.
The average monthly spend in sex clubs is �66 (Sh10,000) for every male in the country. The laws on prostitution in Spain are a mess. They make it illegal for anyone to live off prostitution, but do not ban prostitution itself!
The result is that the country�s 300,000 prostitutes cannot be taxed. The new Socialist government is trying to sort out the confusion. If it does, it could rake in an astonishing �1.9bn (Sh285bn) in taxes every year. Makes it a very tempting prospect, though one doubts whether in largely Catholic Spain, that will happen tomorrow.
Funny though, because one of the few jokes I know that portrays Catholics as pragmatic on these matters, has to do with prostitution taxes.
A Protestant bishop, it goes, was asked whether he would let prostitutes contribute money to help his church. No, he said, Theirs is the work of the Devil. I cannot accept the wages of sin.
Then it was the turn of the Catholic bishop. Yes, I would accept the money, he said, for all things on Earth belong to God.
There was no such pragmatism in the Vatican statement issued last week laying out the Catholic Church�s position on women�s liberation. It heavily criticised what it sees as feminist attempts to erase differences between men and women.
The hardline and conservative Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, who heads the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith office, signed the 37-page document. Of course it had the approval of our good Pope John Paul II.
Women�s rights leaders, who read the document as recommending that women should make more time to stay at home, mop the floor, have babies, and cook for their husbands and children, went ballistic.
The Independent on Sunday quotes Ms Erin Pizzey, founder of the international women�s refuge movement, saying: I don�t think the Catholic Church - whose own priests and bishops cannot marry - is in a position to make such statements. It is one of the most emotionally illiterate institutions I know, and they need to put their own house in order first. I am your average Catholic, and on this one, I am on Pizzey�s side.
The approach couldn�t be more different in Gloucester in the UK, where, The Times tells us, a vicar has agreed to launch a nude calendar in his church after his women parishioners posed naked for it.
Why on earth would a man of the cloth do that, you might ask. The Rev Stephen Earley says it�s for a good cause, and that is what the church should be doing. The money raised from the sale of the calendar will go to help victims of rape.
I suspect that one man whose faith in the Lord must have been renewed in recent days is an American called Randy Fletcher. The Independent on Sunday says the year had been very bad for Fletcher.
In January, he found his wife in bed with a neighbour, in March he wrecked his car, in May his dog died, and in July he lost his house. Cursed? Not quite. Two days after his divorce was finalised last week, he became a millionaire by winning the Indiana State Lottery jackpot.
In Nigeria, a group of farmers has landed a different type of jackpot. But first, some background.
Nigeria�s President Olusegun Obasanjo, as everyone knows, has been a strong supporter of Zimbabwe�s President Robert Mugabe. Obasanjo has opposed Commonwealth and other international attempts to isolate Mugabe and impose sanctions on Zimbabwe for the Harare�s government�s repression of the opposition, crackdown on the free press, and its controversial seizure of white-owned farms.
Obasanjo asked Mugabe to stay away from the last Commonwealth Summit in Abuja only because he didn�t want to risk a boycott by the richer and powerful members of the club.
Unknown to Mugabe, Obasanjo�s people had been talking to the white farmers he was expelling behind his back. The Times says an advance party of 15 Zimbabwean farmers will start farming on 2,500 hectares of land given to them by the Nigerian government. They are to be followed by a second batch of 50.
Several other countries, some of which publicly support Mugabe against the white farmers, have also quietly sent them offers. Ethiopia, Ghana, Cameroun, and Gambia are all bidding. They have good reason to.
The Times reports that in Zambia, where 200 farmers have moved in the past, tobacco output has increased by 500 per cent, and the country had a record harvest of 1.4m tonnes of maize. And here is the supreme irony - a lot of the maize is being secretly shipped south to Zimbabwe to feed famine victims.
The food shortage in Zimbabwe has been attributed to the seizure of the large commercial farms owned by the farmers who are now growing it in Zambia and sneaking it back.
The conclusions from this unsettling affair? One, that apart from their little peasant plots, indigenous Africans are incapable of successful commercial farming.
Secondly, that unless we want famine to wipe us off the face of the Earth, we are better off leaving our land to white farmers whose grandparents stole it from our forefathers during colonialism, than hand it back to the people in the vain hope that they will tend it well simply because they have ancestral rights. Take your pick.
This great drama of missed opportunities is the story of our lives. Last weekend , the unfancied British boxer Danny Williams, stunned the world when he demolished Mike Tyson, the abominable rapist, in the fourth round of a heavyweight bout.
Tyson�s chance of reviving his career and earning the money to pay off his huge debts went out at the count of 10. Rarely has a fall from grace been so spectacular.
Over the years, Tyson has squandered more than $300m (Sh30bn). The Observer reports that today Tyson lives alone in a borrowed room in Phoenix.
Mr Onyango-Obbo is Nation Media Group�s managing editor for media convergence and syndication.
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