'I Was Raped By Men Who Should Have Guarded Me'
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New Vision (Kampala)
INTERVIEW
June 27, 2005
Posted to the web June 27, 2005
Kampala
STELLA was awakened by heavy footsteps treading outside her makeshift shack. She realised very soon she may breath her last. It was about 11:00pm. The moon brightly shone over Pabbo internally displaced people's camp, Gulu. Her heart missed several beats, then begun pounding in her ears.
Stella prayed that God spares her children. In desperation, she shook the child lying next to her. "Wake up," she whispered. Unfortunately, the little girl woke up in a fright. She screamed. On Stella's other side, the last born also begun crying.
The presence of her husband in the dingy hut was of no use. The father of her five children was dead drunk. She was even more terrified when he begun snoring loudly. She wanted to weep! But realised that would be at her children's detriment.
Anguish seized her. She tried to calm herself, but could hardly stop the violent shiver that shook her from head to toe. A heavy sigh escaped her when the children stopped crying. Stella narrates...
"I thought oh, God has heard me again. The footsteps outside had stopped, but in my frightened state, I didn't know which side they had gone. I stuffed my breast in the baby's mouth to prevent any further outbursts.
"As I leaned on the mud wattle wall, my heart sank when I heard someone banging on the tin door," she narrates.
"Funguwa mulango (open the door)," a man shouted.
"Lubanga (God in Acholi)," I whispered, Lubanga! The door was made of straightened and patched up tins of USA oil. It was weak, so they easily kicked it open. All the children had woken up, but their father continued snoring. I held my breast firmly in the baby's mouth.
"They were flashing torches, so glimpses of light fell on them. I recognised one of them, but I couldn't say for fear that they could kill my whole family. He was a popular soldier in the camp.
"They were six men. They ordered me and my 10-year-old daughter to go out.
"The moon was bright. Some were speaking Kiswahili with a Kinyankole accent. I knew they were UPDF soldiers not rebels.
"My daughter tried to cry, but one of the soldiers kicked her and she fell on the ground. I stood there, helpless. I wanted to help my child, but I had to be cautious, any wrong move could get us killed. Seeing they were soldiers, I knew what they wanted. I only wished they could leave my little girl alone.
"They ordered us to begin moving. I tried to plead with them to let my daughter go back and was slapped in the face. They accused me of being a rebel collaborator. I was not surprised. Other women said that is what they always said.
"We were told not to look behind as we moved away from the camp. They ordered me to throw my baby in the bush. He was crying incessantly. I refused. I told them to kill us quickly, if they had plans of taking our lives.
"One man slapped my face again and grabbed the baby. My son cried so loudly. I thought my ears would burst. He was thrown into the shrubs. I pleaded with him in vain.
"After a distance, they ordered us to lie with our faces on the ground. I felt rough hands groping under my dress. As they raped me in turns, they were doing the same to my daughter. I could hear her struggling but they covered her mouth. She stopped struggling at some point. I think I also blacked out,"
Every woman and girl in Pabbo IDP camp braves herself for rape and child sexual abuse respectively. Only, Stella says it strips off all preparations, leaving you shattered. She narrates...
"I woke up with a start. There was dew on the grass. I moved my legs and felt sore all over. Then the horror came back to me. The pain was excruciating. But I remembered my children. My daughter was lying nearby, she was groaning. When I tried to help her up, she couldn't stand.
"I had to hurry before the whole camp woke up. I couldn't stand the humiliation of what had happened. I carried my daughter to the camp.
The pain was like I had been sliced between the legs, but I moved on.
I passed my baby and stopped to check if he was breathing. I think he cried himself to sleep.
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"My daughter was bleeding profusely. For four days, she refused to come out of the hut. I told my husband what happened. He went to report to the barracks, but was beaten up severely.
"My bright girl has since dropped out of school, other children laugh at her. The soldiers were not punished, they were just transferred..." Stella says.
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