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Good move Eriya Kategaya
Dismas Nkunda
The accusation was very clear. That many Ugandan
men are simple political
sex-workers. That we are very available for the highest bidder, as long as there is quid on the table. That what we say in public has nothing to do with what we do in private. Men in Uganda, past the 1986 era, have become such a mystery. They can shift and turn in beds and their public utterances. But at the other extreme end, I shouted with joy
upon learning that Eriya
Kategaya was retracing his roots and back to where it all began. It was the joy of crafty politics that I had long not heard from any mortal within us. Nice move, Mzee Eriya. For you who want to hang on one sentence that this
man uttered that a man
from Ankole turns only in his bed but not on his word, go and suckle your index fingers. What makes a man is not eating his words, but filling the void that creeps in one's empty stomach. Now imagine this. One cool evening, the phone rings. "Hurro, this is Eriya," Kategaya answers. "Eriya, this is Yoweri, how have you been?" "Who?", Eriya stammers. "This is the President. I have been trying your
phone but it was off, were
you playing tennis?" Yoweri says, sipping on a cup of bushera. "I want to see you", he continues. "No, not me, I cannot see you, what do you want
from me?" Eriya cuts in.
"You are my best friend, you know, I really BEG that I see you?" Yoweri reassures, stressing the word beg. "You, begging me, ha ha", Eriya's face lights
up.
"I have told these protocol people to pick you and we meet", Yoweri says as a matter of finality. "I will consult my party first before meeting you. I will tell them that you begged to see me," Eriya sounds firm. "Please do not tell those FCD people, they are a
nuisance." "It is not FCD
but FDC, and if you want to meet me then stop abusing my party." "Eriya, that FDC is not your party, you belong to NRM, remember our deal?" "You are right, anyway when do we meet?", Eriya
responds in a resigned tone.
"Even now you come, nani, go eh, go pick Eriya at Kampala Club," Yoweri instructs someone. If anyone out there can resist such a call, then
you are the hero missing in
action. And 30 minutes later, the two men embrace and toast for the work well done. The conversation varies from the good old times, to the breaking of ranks, to the trick that worked miracles. Yoweri assures Eriya that he did a good job. You exposed all those who wanted to oppose us. They reminiscence about the ploy that only two of them knew about. And this is how the two men hatched the master
plan.
Post the Kyankwanzi meeting that resolved that there was going to be a third term, the two buddies knew there was bound to be controversy even within the ranks of the Movement. To be able to weed out those who were in the Movement with one heart, the plan was to let Kategaya oppose the third term. If Kategaya can oppose the third term, then a
whirlwind of non-starters
would follow. And in the process they would expose all those who would follow him. Not long, when Kategaya declared that the third
term was not constitutional,
many and the country went buzz with many politicians falling prey to the ploy. They quickly denounced Museveni in the remote hope that Kategaya was going to be their linchpin. Anyone in his right senses would know that Kategaya and Museveni cannot be enemies. Those in the know say that actually Museveni cut his political teeth from Kategaya. In an ideal world, Kategaya would have been the President in 1986 when the NRM came to power. But he is said to be somewhat feline, almost
indolent. But at the same time,
he is canny and can foresee political shifts and movements better than Yoweri. On a bright day he can muster the courage to tell Museveni off, but not completely break off ranks. And you out there want to question the wisdom that we know very little about? So now minister Kategaya, you have really taught
the youth of this country
who aspire to join politics how things are done. I thank you for this. Politics is not for novices. It is for seasoned men like you. I am sure you must have signed some papers with Museveni to the effect that upon finishing this term, he relinquishes power to you. Of course there have been those with loose talk who
know nothing about the
art of statesmanship. They are worried that Museveni might drop you from the cabinet in the next few months, simply to embarrass you. I really shudder to even tolerate this thought. Please do let us know what other move the two of
you will have conjured up
so that we can remain alert and waiting on you to deliver steadfastness and courage to we the ruled and easily confused population. Enjoy. The author is a human rights expert and specialist
on refugee issues
[EMAIL PROTECTED] The Mulindwas Communication Group
"With Yoweri Museveni, Uganda is in anarchy" Groupe de communication Mulindwas "avec Yoweri Museveni, l'Ouganda est dans l'anarchie" |
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