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To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Sent: Sunday, October 8, 2006 11:03:20 AM
Subject: ...Bible jokes
Hello Uncle P,
Light up the fireplace and enjoy these jokes over your turkey. And don't forget my ipod coz christmas is coming real quick. Happy Thanksgiving. Thanx.
CJ "One is Insufficient"
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Q: What kind of man was Boaz before he married?
A: Ruthless
Q: What do they call pastors in Germany?
A: German Shepards
Q: Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A: Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation
Q: Who was the greates comedian in the Bible?
A: Samson. He brought the house down..!
Q: Which Bible character had no parents?
A:
Joshua, son of Nun
Q: Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A: David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.
Q: Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A: Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
Q: What kind of motor vehicles were driven in Biblical days?
A: Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of Eden in a Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostoles were all in one Accord
Q. Why did Noah have to punish and discipline the chickens on the Ark?
A. Because they were using "fowl" language.
Q: How do we know that they played cards in the ark?
A: Because Noah sat on the deck.
Q: How do we know that Jesus used fertilizer?
A: Because he said, "Lettuce spray." (Let us pray).
Q. How long did Cain hate his brother?
A. As long as he was Abel (able).
Q. At what time of day was Adam created?
A. A little before Eve.
Q: How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman?
A: By his net
income.
Q: How do you know when Enoch is at the door?
A: 'E knocks.
The Children of Israel
Mr. Goldblatt," announced little Joey, "there's somethin' I can't figger out."
"What's that Joey?" asked Goldblatt.
"Well accordin' to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?"
"Right."
"An' the Children of Israel beat up the Phillistines, right?"
"Er - right."
"An' the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?"
"Again you're right."
"An' the Children of Israel fought the 'gyptians, an' the Children of Israel fought the Romans, an' the Children of Israel wuz always doin' somethin' important, right?"
"All that is right, too," agreed Goldblatt. "So what's your question?"
"What I wanna know is this," demanded Joey. "What wuz all the grown-ups doin?"
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