Mr. George Okello, Thank you for sharing your life experiences within and around the institution of marriage! Do you think it would be less battle if all couples signed premarrital agreements? Or would the premarital agreement be quickly outdated when children join the mix? In the USA, the no fault clause is used alot and many people tend to have quiet divorces. The problem however comes with property distribution. Men have always tended to earn more than women. In some cases some women are married to well off to do husbands. When it comes to divorce, the children are almost automatically awarded to the mother, but the child support awarded never measures up with the cost of living. Many of these women move from upper income, and middle income to poor with children after the divorce. I saw this over and over in the court system, but the children suffer the most. Even if they let the woman keep the expensive house the couple lived in, 99%, she is unable to keep it. The ex would care less to avoid a bank repossession of the house even though his children are directly affected. This is why some women would rather be miserable but stay married living in upper class neighborhoods and having it all except love, joy and great relationship. Do you think African traditional marriages worked better? What if we started having pre-marital counseling for couples who plan to marry? Do some follow ups after marriage and as much as possible ongoing? This way we can catch trouble before trouble consumes the marriage relationship and do preventive work. Society needs to address marriage with more seriousness than is being done. That is my take. If I am not back on time. Have a fabulous weekend, everyone reading me. Happy Month of June, 2010! Rejoice over the gift of life! Assumpta Mary Kintu
---------- Forwarded message ---------- From: george okello <[email protected]> Date: Thu, Jun 3, 2010 at 7:15 AM Subject: Re: {UAH}: Ms Kintu: Philip Moi, Wife Cite Adultery in Divorce--What Have We Become People?? To: [email protected] My friend Assumptu Kintu, As a person who has dealt with many divorce cases at a personal as well as professional level, a "No Fault Divorce" only works for the poorest sections of society because they have nothing to loose anyway. In the UK, there is a provision for "No Fault Divorce", but go to the Family Courts in London, you will see every divorce is fought up to the death. And it is usually about property, child custody and maintenance. I am talking from experience here. A favourite tactic for the woman is always to plead domestic and emotional abuse and neglect, even rape. The favourite tactic of the man is plead adultery on the part of the woman. Especially in situations where the husband is relatively well-off, he will employ a private detective to shadow his wife's every move until he gets the evidence of her adultery. These private detectives charge anything in the region of £300-1000 per month, depending on whether the woman is living openly with her lover or wants to conceal. Some even use illegal tactics like putting a camera in the woman's home without her knowledge. But the biggest problem in the UK is a legal situation where the man has to leave the family home in case of separation or divorce. It has led to a few deaths here in the UK, where the husband is so outraged that his former wife has brought in a new man in what he considers his house- in all probability he would have bought the house himself. Divorce is here with us to stay. It has and will always be a very bitter process. I do not think there is anything like an amicable divorce. When people divorce, what defines their relationship at this moment is bitter hatred and a deep sense of betrayal. Usually the couples had misplaced expectations of each other that then burst out into the open. And in a country like the UK, that through social policy, has encouraged divorce rather supported marriage, in the mistaken idea of supporting women's rights, marriage as an institution is slowly dieing. We did a survey on Ugandans and found out at least 45% were divorced in 5 years of marriage, in Sudan, it is almost 70%. George O. Pacu-Otto On 6/2/10, WB Kyijomanyi <[email protected]> wrote: > > > Ms Assumpta Kintu: > > You raise an important issue which I brought to the attention some women > activists in Uganda: No fault provision where couples simply walk away > without saying much. I do not know how far the Women activists in Uganda > with that suggestion for they never got back to me. But it should be part > of the DRB or divorce bill in Uganda. Mr Al Gore and Mrs Tipper Gore invoked > no fault and simply walked away. Apparently no affairs in the wings. Just > bored of each other and called it quits. We should wish them the very best > for not pretending anymore. > > > The Philip Moi story is interesting because Philip was a business partner > of the Gecagas. And yes, Philip is a womanizer big time who wrecked many > families in Nairobi. Now Kenyans know that he was also cuckolded. Hehe he > > > > > WBK > > > > > ------------------------------ > Date: Wed, 2 Jun 2010 10:14:52 -0500 > Subject: {UAH}: Philip Moi, Wife Cite Adultery in Divorce--What Have We > Become People?? > From: [email protected] > To: [email protected]; [email protected] > > Fellow Ugandans and our friends, > What has become of our cultures? > If a couple decides to have a divorce, do they have to iron all their dirty > laundry > in public? Can you imagine, how many people are left bleeding with > exposures like > the ones bellow? The children whether young or old are watching their > parents go apart. > At the same time they are reading all the gabbage in the newspapers and > hearing it > on radio or fellow students gossipping at school and/or college? > It appears Kenya's divorce law, does not have "No Fault" provision to allow > a couple to divorce, whether it is mutual or not without ironing all the > dirty laundry in public to prove > they need to divorce. They are going to battle over property and child > support. I recommend they revise the law and save the public and the > children from the "spicy" divorce proceedings, which only benefit lawyers. > What is Uganda law like? Do couples have to prove they deserve the > divorce? > African men have always been poligamous, except for a few staunch > Christians, is that a cause for divorce these days? Domestic Violence should > have been detailed in criminal court where it is punishable and not family > court. The naming of other people who may or may not have known the marital > status during the affairs appears going overboard. These are public records > and once recorded one cannot go back to change them. That is my thinking. > I strongly believe no matter what goes wrong between a marriage couple > leading to a divorce, the couple can divorce without being unpleasant to > each other. > If you are reading me, Have a super month of June, 2010! > Assumpta Mary Kintu > > > ---------- Forwarded message ---------- > From: *WB Kyijomanyi* <[email protected]> > Date: Wed, Jun 2, 2010 at 8:01 AM > Subject: {UAH}: Philip Moi, Wife Cite Adultery in Divorce > To: [email protected] > > > > > Philip Moi, Wife Cite Adultery in DivorceStar Reporter > 31 May 2010 > ------------------------------ > Nairobi — Philip Moi's wife Rossana Pluda has filed for divorce, accusing > her husband of adultery and cruelty. > Rossana claims Philip Kipchirchir had a three-year affair with a married > woman named Jane Ondieki, from 2001 to 2003. > But the son of the former President in turn accuses his wife of adultery > and cruelty, claiming she had an affair with a single man called Jomo > Gecaga. > > In the divorce case number 154 of 2008 which was filed on 24 December 2008, > Rossana seeks the dissolution of the marriage, custody of their two > children, as well as school fees for both children. > In addition, she seeks a monthly maintenance fee of $6,000 (Sh450,000) or > an alternative of $1 million (Sh75 million) to be paid into a trust account > for the upkeep and maintenance of herself and the children. > Philip and Rossana were married on March 1, 1993 in Nairobi. They lived > together on Tchui Road in Muthaiga Estate, and got the two children in 1993 > and 1995. > Rossana describes Philip in her petition as a "businessman who has > interests in property development and is a company director of numerous > companies." She accuses Philip of verbally abusing her on several occasions > in the presence of their children. > She claims that Philip is a habitually becomes violent to her and their > children when drunk. > Rossana says in her affidavit that Philip ejected her from their > matrimonial bed on or about 2006 and she has since not been intimate with > him, leading to emotional distress. > The wife further claims her husband has refused her friends to visit her, > causing her to lead a lonely and miserable life without any social > connections. > She accuses Philip of hitting his son severally when drunk. > Other allegations include refusal to give her money for housekeeping > leading to her borrowing from family and friends, refusing to take his > daughter to hospital when she was suffering from stomach cramps and refusing > to let her or their children use any of his five "expensive" cars. > Further, Rossana claims Philip has threatened to shoot her should she > leave him. > She said that despite several of her attempts at reconciliation, Philip has > persisted in his cruelty. > But in his replying affidavit filed with the High Court on February 6, > 2009, Philip says: "Save that I am a Kenyan citizen and a businessman, I > deny that I am a property developer or that I am a director of numerous > companies as stated by the petitioner in paragraph 5 of her affidavit." He > denies committing adultery or being cruel to his wife. He claims that she > left the matrimonial home on her own volition and that she was the one who > committed adultery. > "The petitioner (Rossana) has had and continues to have an adulterous > affair with Jomo Gecaga, a single man," he states. > Philip claims that Rossana has on several occasions been verbally abusive > towards him in the presence of their children thereby causing him mental > anguish. > "The petitioner has neglected me and the children by being more concerned > with her own welfare and well being than that first of the children and > mine," he says. > He adds: "The petitioner spends and continues to spend most of her time > with the names lover and her friends to the detriment of the children, > thereby, causing me and the children mental anguish." Philip accuses his > wife of deliberately neglecting her children's welfare, safety and education > needs. > He says no reconciliation was possible because of his wife's continued > adultery and cruelty. > Philip also wants the court to grant him custody of the children. > "I am apprehensive that the safety, well being and education of the > children will be affected if custody, care and control is granted to the > petitioner because of her adultery and cruelty. The petitioner can be > granted limited access," he says. > Philip adds that he has been staying with the children since 1993 and their > safety, welfare and education have been well looked after without any > assistance from their mother. > He says Rossana is not entitled to $6,000 a month for maintenance "because > she is being looked after by her lover". > He wants his wife's request for maintenance not to be granted. > Philip is represented in the case by Guram and Company advocates while > Rossana is represented by Ransley MC Vicker & Shaw advocates > > ------------------------------ > >
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