Hello Allan, John, Isaac and Members on the Forum! *We cannot give up on our children's marriages. * *Who said life is smooth sailing?* Even if we the parents did not have successfull marriages, we must aspire to have our daughters and sons succeed. Even if we have distance between us, technology can help. We just have to be careful and not appear intrusive or taking over the relationships. We can advise, but not command because it is our child's marriage. He/She and their significant other make the decisions. One thing I know, our children need us and we must be receptive. As parents now is the time to determine your role in your daughter's or son's life who is/or plans to be married. Good Luck Parents. I know you can do it. No Quitting! Have a productive but enjoyable new week! *Assumpta Mary Kintu * ---------- Forwarded message ---------- From: John <[email protected]> Date: Sun, Aug 15, 2010 at 1:05 PM Subject: Re: {UAH}: Mr. Balamu to Ms Kintu Love and Me--&--Fantastic Weekend For U!! To: [email protected]
M/s Kintu, I love your aurgument but there is one part I would like to comment on and thats about Clinton being set up by republicans. No body set him up but himself for he knew better than that to get involved with an intern. One biggest problem we have these days compared to our fore fathers and mothers is that we look at marriage in f ------------------------------ *From:* Assumpta Kintu <[email protected]> *To:* ugandans-at-heart <[email protected]>; ugandanet < [email protected]> *Sent:* Sun, August 15, 2010 12:06:59 AM *Subject:* {UAH}: Mr. Balamu to Ms Kintu Love and Me--&--Fantastic Weekend For U!! Mr. Balamu, Change within a man or woman does not mean he or she leaves the one they exchanged vows/rings with. The vows are: "---in sickness and in health, for rich and for poor ---till death do us part." So how can someone pack and leave because the spouse lost a job? or because they have other perceived problems? Shouldn't they be working on the challenges/problems together? Change in either party is expected, but it does not mean ending the relationship. This is one of the reasons I like Senator Clinton. She forgave her husband for all the alleged promiscuity the Republicans set him up with and dished out for the world to see. I thought only African women put up with this kind of behavior, but she gave me a great surprise. Now you are saying that the mentality of people in the marriage may not be till death do us part?? Even in our traditional cultures poligamous as the marriages were, they were life long commitments. When Abdul Mulaasi sang "Obufumbo Bube Bwa Liizi"/Let The Marriage Be On A Lease, I thought he was just being humourous and funny. What we are missing today is the connection between the couple and the two extended families. In our traditions both the husband's and the wife's families were interested in seeing the marriage succeed. They helped as much as they could. Today they are not there. So if the couple has challenges, they have no one to talk to for help. This is why in areas where there are a good number of Ugandans they should establish pre-marital counseling which is easy. It enables the couple to be examines items like having children, family budget, personal relationships and be prepared for any had of times ahead; meaning of commitment. All these are possible if the couple is serious and know what they are getting into. But if a person is marrying someone for the money---- once the money goes the attraction goes too and they give up on the relationship. If somone marries another because they are handsome or beautiful and it makes them feel good to have outsiders see them with a beautiful woman or handsome man---- once the person gets sick or gets into a car accident and changes they will go leave the relationship. What you are saying is that people are marrying for the wrong reasons. Pre-marital counseling might make them see what is going to happen. Then they take time to decide whether to go on with the wedding or not. The only thing that cannot be easily fixed is an abusive spouse, who poses a threat to life. I also think the worst is when a couple decides to live together to see whether they will be fit to marry each other. This is very disrespectful of each other. No one is fully invested in the relationship. Everyone is out to take an inventory of what the other party does wrong while they live together. They do not realise, that there is no perfect man or woman and there never will be. Men and women need to know that with love and commitment everything else is possible. A couple can have challenges but they can handle them together and overcome or learn to accept what they cannot change. I want to believe that the lady you describe building a house at her parents home is doing it for the parents and not waiting for the marriage to fail and walk off. If she is waiting for a day to walk out of the marriage, then the man should let her go now. This behavior is like sitting in a car or bus with the door open and one leg out because you do not trust the driver. Picture it! The bus or car driver will not move because everyone's life is in danger. Each party has to be fully present in the relationship despite the differences, then they work on the unacceptable together. It takes two like Glady's Knight sang it. If it ain't two, there is no real relationship. I have the keyboard on heat and the reader to too much work. Let me stop right here. A great weekend to all! Assumpta Mary Kintu ---------- Forwarded message ---------- From: Isaac Balamu <[email protected]> Date: Sat, Aug 14, 2010 at 7:49 PM Subject: RE: {UAH}:Ms Kintu Love and Me--&--Fantastic Weekend For U!! To: [email protected] Ms Kintu Women change too, i think worse than men. And if a man loses a job, the woman will run off with another man, a woman will always be preparing to live the man even when there is no problem in the relationship, she anticipates there would be one so she prepares by building a house at her parents home. And relationship abroad are even worse, ------------------------------ Date: Sat, 14 Aug 2010 19:35:41 -0500 Subject: {UAH}: Love and Me--&--Fantastic Weekend For U!! From: [email protected] To: [email protected]; [email protected] --- On *Wed, 8/11/10, Tom K <[email protected]>* wrote: From: Tom K <[email protected]> Subject: Love and Me To: "Tom Kikonyogo" <[email protected]> Date: Wednesday, August 11, 2010, 10:37 PM <http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?op=1&view=global&subj=762247865&pid=6475611&id=686590147>
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