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PRESS
RELEASE
A formal announcement
that will turn the competitive bicycling world upside down and set Franco
American relations back several hundred years was accidentally leaked to CNN's
Paris Bureau. There were reports, overnight, that Lance Armstrong will soon be
stripped of his sixth Tour de France title. In a release to
be timed for tonight's broadcast of MSNBC New's 'Hardball with Chris
Matthews', the A.S.O. and the Tour de France will condemn the use of products
either banned in France or products yet to be understood by the organized French
bicycling establishment. The A.S.O. and the
Tour de France stated that the use of such products "is an insult to the ethics
of sport and to the values embodied by the Tour de
France." The three products
banned by the Tour that Armstrong has admitted to using are soap, deodorant, and
toothpaste. The other item for which Armstrong has tested positive, yet is
unknown to the Tour's fair competition committee, is a
backbone. Updates will be posted
as they become
available. |
