you will no doubt notice, ross, that of the 12 bullets fired last week, nobody was able to hit anything, apart from the bridge itself which is substantially larger than person sized. i place the blame for this on the fact that kids today are learning their combat stances from actors who have never fired a gun rather than from crotchety old new york city police officers who've finished more gunfights than all but a few of us on this list have started. after john wu, it was no longer a choice between the modern icocelese and the combat weaver, you also have the "hold my gun sideways and fire one handed" stance popularized by john travolta in pulp fiction and the even more incomprehensible "hold the gun over my head and fire at a downward angle like i'm making a shadow puppet of a stork" stance invented by antonio bandarez for the film "assassins". this results in many shot-out car windows and impuned store fronts, but relative safety for the intended victim. and we all know that the incident you are referring to, where diller failed to hit the inside of that barn was only because you had given him experimental doses of crystal methamphetimines and he was shaking like a plate of jello on a buckboard wagon being driven across a frozen, furrowed field. normally, he can shoot the wart off a witch at 200 yards. or so cass assures me anyway. and whatever he doesn't shoot off, he'll run over with his 4x4.
-----Original Message-----
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]; [EMAIL PROTECTED]; [email protected]
Sent: 2/23/2005 9:34 AM
Subject: Re: [UC] Kicked out of The Bridge
I dunno Cassidy. You're starting to make me a little nervous. I mean
*Diller*?? In the *rafters*? With firearms?? Anybody who is familiar
with the guy knows that he can't hit the broad side of a barn door with
a Bulgarian Shipka let alone a high velocity gun with a scope. And
that's when he's sober. Until now I've always felt fairly sanguine about
attending Le Cinema Luxe @ the Bridge. Generally the homeboys who bring
their lugars know what they're doing and hit their targets with a fair
degree of precision but start turning farmers like Diller loose with
their friggin paintballs and God only knows what would happen.
Ross Bender
http://rossbender.org/deadbrain1.html
<http://rossbender.org/deadbrain1.html>
In a message dated 2/23/2005 9:24:11 AM Eastern Standard Time,
[EMAIL PROTECTED] writes:
i'm all about it. i say we arm diller with a high velocity 4mm
paintball gun with a night vision scope and put him in the rafters.
anybody who talks or answers a cell phone during the movie gets one in
the forehead. after the show, anyone with the "mark of caine" is fair
game for those patrons sensible enough to pack heat to the theater.
we'll show art flix in the cinemagic -- we'll just call it the ritz 3
west -- it'll be months before their lawyers can slap a cease and decist
on us. after which time we'll just change the name again to the Rats 3
West and nobody will realize.
-----Original Message-----
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
To: [email protected]
Sent: 2/22/2005 10:50 PM
Subject: Re: [UC] Kicked out of The Bridge
Kyle Cassidy wrote:
> After recent bouts of _ADULTS_ complete misbehavior at the bridge,
christy
> and I have just given up seeing movies there. We joined Neflix. Now we
only
> go to the bridge for the gunfights.
kyle, lets you and I start our own art movie house. where
that moribund slough art place is. we could show fassbinders
and hitchcocks and polanskis and bergmans and kubricks and
bugs bunny shorts. and give out discount coupons for the
metropolitan bakery. free admission for best sca costumes.
of course, any weaponry we'd confiscate would go to diller,
and ross could do his shadow puppet safety tips during
intermission. all we'd need is a fully-equiped bathhouse,
but I'm sure someone could help us with that. whaddya say?
.........
laserbeam�
[aka ray]
scrunch could sleep in the front window
