I'm a little appalled, indeed shocked, by the turn this thread has taken. However, it gives me an opening to single-stream recycle some of my old Deadbrain.com columns:
Bush Hails CIA Coup In Ottawa Dec 27 2003 by Ross Bender President Bush today hailed the CIA-sponsored coup which has brought Paul Martin to power in Canada. The dramatic capture of Saddam Hussein had obscured the regime change in Ottawa, which displaced Prime Minister Jean Chretien last week, when Special Forces operatives stormed the Parliament buildings and seized power without a fight. Chretien is being held in a secret location; Mr. Bush would say only that "we'll prolly give the little Frenchie a taste of Camp X-Ray after he's had a few sleepless nights and asked him a few questions. We had Army doctors examine his rectum to make sure he wasn't harboring any weapons of mass destruction." Visible signs of change in Canada were few during the busy holiday shopping season, although several statues of General Isaac Brock were toppled by celebrating American tourists. (Brock is the Canadian war hero who defended the country against a US invasion in the War of 1812.) The new Canadian Ministry of Education, to be directed by US Defense Secretary Donald "Napoleon" Rumsfeld, will rewrite Canadian history books to reflect that the American invasion was in fact a success, as US textbooks already demonstrate. English will become the official language and in a "No Canuck Child Left Behind" initiative, natives of Quebec will be learned good English. The new puppet administration of Paul Martin is expected to reflect strong support for US war aims in Iraq and less support for same-sex marriage and decriminalization of marijuana. Also, Canada will send an annual tribute of 5000 Native Canadian virgins to be employed as concubines in the US Senate. Halliburton Corporation and Yale Skull and Bones will be given exclusive contracts to reconstruct the largely underdeveloped nation, and the Tim Horton donut chain will be renamed "Dick Cheney's." President Bush emphasized that "It not about the oil. It about freedom and democracy and also the right of our good neighbors to the north to not have to speak that awful French language no more." Even as the President spoke, bomb blasts were heard in Montreal. The Al Canuck terrorist organization, headed by Osama bin Leveque, claimed responsibility. On 3/8/07, Anthony West <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
I don't think any rational American would oppose the conquest of Canada, provided we could seize its governmental health benefits in the process. It would certainly do us all more good to deploy our troops in Ottawa than in Baghdad, which does not seem to be a fountain of low-cost comprehensive health care. No matter how virtuous overall, every political model has its practical weak point. For freemarket public policy, health care is the chief glaring failure of our age. The United States spends vastly more to buy health than any other society on Earth, and gets a crappy return: Costa Ricans tend to outlive us, along with the canny residents of at least 20 other nations that spend about half what we do on our common human quest for survival. Americans blow way too much for medical care that doesn't actually keep them alive; and they have, in the end, no choice -- our system forces our society to throw ever more good money after bad health results, year after year. We have created a frightening society that cannot do the job other advanced nations routinely accomplish. Lesson: This country is making a titanic mistake. When it comes to health, America is being scammed by an ideologically driven business model that talks big, as Enron did, and delivers zero, as Enron did. This outcome runs counter to my own biases and expectations. But it's an indisputable fact by now. It's a loser. -- Tony West ----- Original Message ----- From: "Jim Cummings" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: "Anthony West" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Cc: <[email protected]> Sent: Thursday, March 08, 2007 12:31 AM Subject: Re: [UC] Ross for president > If the U.S. liberated (annexed) Canada from its despotic government > which has forced Canadians to have single-payer cradle-to-grave health > care, then being born in Canada would not be an impediment to the > Presidency. > Jim ---- You are receiving this because you are subscribed to the list named "UnivCity." To unsubscribe or for archive information, see <http://www.purple.com/list.html>.
-- Ross Bender http://rossbender.org
