I think it's very easy to imagine how he would have been labelled if he had appeared to be of Arabic or Middle Eastern ethnicity . . . Kathleen
________________________________ From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of [EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Wednesday, April 25, 2007 8:47 AM To: [email protected] Subject: Fwd: [UC] VA Tech and "The Untold Story" On the other hand, placing more value on the individual or a single family rather than on the community is quintessentially American behavior. I'm no teacher, but the story can illustrate assimilation just as much as cultural differences. And BTW, why did the media initially describe the shooter simply as an Asian student? As he was otherwise not described for purposes of identification and indeed may already not have been at large, his race was wholly irrelevant. By the next day, I think, the description changed to "resident alien" from Korea, which was perhaps more dubious. It may be harsh to question the attempts to dig up every scrap of info on the shooter, but aside from suggesting that his being an immigrant or not having naturalized was newsworthy, it was bizarre to use that term rather than the more conventional lawful permanent resident (legal term) or green card holder (popular term). I'd hate to think how he'd have been labeled if he was out of status. -----Original Message----- From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]; [email protected] Sent: Wed, 25 Apr 2007 7:45 AM Subject: Re: [UC] VA Tech and "The Untold Story" Dear Liz, My heart goes out to with regard to Maggie. I also know what it's like to lose a sister. I didn't mean to imply that mental illness etc. is an immigrant problem. I was pointing out the cultural differences in how people process it and deal with it. Many of the cultures people come from are repressive and harsh toward those who are 'different'. Most parents do not want others to point out the faults of their children. That's natural even though I feel it's unfair to ask for help but not for input or advise. I personally know of a case where an immigrant parent form North Africa was suing the School District because he wanted his very violent son who had a congenital affliction mainstreamed into classrooms no matter how much he disturbed others' education. In his home country, his kid would NOT have been allowed into a regular school environment and he knew it. He was bellicose and arrogant about his son's rights, even after a teacher was hurt. He did not want to accept the fact that his only son was not like other normal children. I could be wrong but I feel it a bit unfair to emigrate in order to perpetuate this situation and not get counselling for the child. He blamed all the teachers, everyone, not himself or his child. Last year, I had another student who fits the profile of the VA Tech killer to a turn. It could be just a matter of time for him and that scares me. On 4/25/07 1:02 AM, "Elizabeth F Campion" <[EMAIL PROTECTED] <javascript:parent.ComposeTo("campionef%40juno.com", "");> > wrote: Dear Wilma, Sande & List neighbors. Please don't buy into the delusion that "Mental Illness" or mass murder are "immigrant" problems. Feeling safer is not the same as being safer. We should not hesitate to keep our eyes open, much closer to home. Like Wilma, I wonder what part, if any, race played in the progression of killing at Virginia Tech. I'll share my doubts and fears. I heard the news with horror, and as facts were delivered, I thought of "Horror", films in which the black guy and a pretty ingenue are usually the first casualties. Than I thought about race and "old Virginny" and wondered if the first on the first crime scene saw a "couple", one that had crossed racial borders, and assumed a murder-suicide that was emotionally confirmed by the dark skin of the man. As a parent, I can not imagine that German and Math and other classes continued at the Campus on a day when a double murder had just taken place, especially with the murderer still at-large. And so, I search for explanations that make it seem possible. It is easier for me to believe that the school screwed up, than that the parents didn't try to get their son help. I do not have the experience of having black skin, but I grew up from poverty and enjoy the company of black friends and diverse neighbors and have noticed that behaviors towards me and expectations of me do seem to change in some reaction to the people I am with. As a result, I tend to examine choices through lenses that highlight class, race and gender. I try to filter out the facts, or mentally role play the scenario substituting different types, to estimate if the result would be the same. I have had the experience of being raised with a two (of twelve) siblings who I consider mentally ill. Both were incapable of seeing their own illness. Both were resistant to the therapies (including medicine or self analysis) that might have helped them. One I consider "evil". Maybe because he was male, older, stronger and because the victims of his rage (frustrations, confusions?) were myself and family members who I loved. Age and illness have made him more benign, and me more forgiving, but... I do not forget, and I do not take chances with myself or my children. The other I mourn, sometimes inconsolably. She was two years younger, delicate and beloved by all her siblings. Her illness was simultaneously chronic and random and perceived as a tragedy. Ironically, she may have done more damage than my angry brother. Manifestation of her mental illness included: rampant, insatiably needy sexuality and fire starting. From the sex, she contracted AIDS. And she continued to have sex, lots of it; with many partners; sometimes many in one day. The system fought diligently to save her from her "physical" disease and from suicide attempts and incidents of physical violence but could not be enlisted as a Chastity belt for the protection of those who would have sex with her. There was almost an attitude of "she is not competent to consent, therefore anyone who has sex with her is a rapist, therefore they deserve what they get", and no matter what we did, there was no sense that maybe: Some of the man were also mentally ill Maggie had healthy looking days The "rapist" might have an innocent partner or seed a child that did not "deserve" the disease. No matter how much we (our family) loved Maggie and no matter what was spent or done or attempted or desired, we could not make her well and we could not find or buy services that could. But believe me, we tried. And often heard criticisms from people who can not imagine how hard we tried. And I am left, to wonder, how much did Maggie suffer and how many people did she harm, because we, our family and our society, did not have the ability or will to humanely contain her. I could talk for days about trying to get her help. Incidents (like setting a fire in an occupied apartment building at 4 AM) that I was certain would be grounds for commitment were dismissed. Different siblings, with different styles and talents all worked (sometimes separately, sometimes together) toward her safe containment. Intellectually I know that Maggie was harmed, by action and neglect, with and without intent and almost daily. Emotionally, I can not bear to contemplate the full extant of her suffering. But I also wonder how much death and suffering resulted from her sex acts and how many other families suffered as we did. I can remember sitting in a court room, trying to arrange a commitment for Maggie. Many cases would be heard in the same session. Some of the mentally ill had terrifying appearances. Maggie often looked like a fragile angel. But, she was often the one who arrived in full restraints. Orderlies fed up with her biting, spitting and flailing would drag her into court in shackles and a muzzle. The pros were terrified of her rages and unpredictable behaviors. But the judge(s) would see past the chains to the frail, white, female and would "release" her. I mourn for the lives cut short at Virginia Tech. I feel sorrow for the families of killer and victims and for the loss to us all. But, I can not blame the family of the killer, or any single person or a computer game as the catalyst for these murders. There seems to have been a perfect storm of events and opportunities that permitted this tragedy. It may be that frustrated hopes for greater racial harmony (I'm still hoping and working toward that end) and / or agonizing over a family situation that found no happy resolution has left me incapable of clear vision. But I see a broken system that seems prepared to warehouse homeless families and force the unsustainable burdens of mental illness upon its victims and their families. I do not have the strength to volunteer in these areas (yet?). I applaud those who do volunteer. I am grateful for the people who work, with good heart, often in low paid jobs, to bring comforts and stability to victims in group homes and mental health wards. And I hope we, as individuals in a larger society, find ways to open our eyes and delegate our desires (through voting and spending). I'll probably be sorry I pressed send, but I hope my words encourage those with the skills to do research, create medicines and test therapies to strive to do no harm, while doing good (and hopefully well). I hope that care givers find rewards in their acts of compassion and care. I pray that caring for a loved one with mental illness does not overwhelm healthy members of families or cause the disease to jump to younger, more vulnerable generations. It is late, good night. Sleep well and in safety (both real and perceived). All the best! Liz On Tue, 24 Apr 2007 22:00:33 -0400 "SKnight" <[EMAIL PROTECTED] <javascript:parent.ComposeTo("sandoremi%40verizon.net", "");> > writes: Wilma, Your post points out a very frustrating problem for us native born Americans. That is the lip service paid to diversity prevents us from being able to treat so many, if not all, of these problems among our immigrant population, children in particular, because of the refusal of the parents. We completely forget what a testing ground our country is for so many different ethnic groups. These situations don't even exist in most of the world because of the innate homogeneity of the populations. In that sense, it is truly exciting. But oh so frustrating. sk ----- Original Message ----- From: Wilma de Soto <mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]> <mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: UnivCity listserv <mailto:[email protected]> <mailto:[email protected]> Sent: Monday, April 23, 2007 7:28 PM Subject: [UC] VA Tech and "The Untold Story" Dear Neighbors, As a Teacher of English As a Second Language, I have seen many children from overseas from MANY different countries and cultures, who surely would have been ostracized in their countries' traditional and very old societies. Their parents brought them to the US and foisted their kids upon our School Systems and resources using statutes created from Affirmative Action Laws rather than acknowledge their child may have a serious problem. It is a cultural taboo especially among the most educated and conscientious parents and more so if the children are boys. Still, we taught those children with all due care and respect and tried to get their parents to get them help that we would pay for to no avail. These are not just Asian students, but Arab, Pakistani, Albanian etc. http://www.philly.com/philly/news/homepage/20070422_Asians_often_reticen t_ab <http://www.philly.com/philly/news/homepage/20070422_Asians_often_retice nt_ab> out_seeking_mental_care.html I sent this link from the Sunday Inquirer not because the VA shooter was Asian but to the contrary, the parents who are NOT Asian raised the biggest stink. Some parents have even sued the School District of Philadelphia to demand services for their children that would not be available to them in their countries. That is not to say that most American parents would not deny the same about their children, but American parents would at least blame everyone else for their problems and then eventually seek help. I just wonder ________________________________ AOL now offers free email to everyone. 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