On 5/31/07, Vincent/Roger <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
A free beer (or Shirley Temple, Ross) for the first person who can locate his car. Plus our undying gratitude!
Dude. As you know, I would go to great lengths to earn a free Shirley Temple at your fine ristorante, but surely by now you are cognizant of my attitude toward infernal combustion engine vehicles. Suffice it to say that I last drove a car in 1984 and shortly thereafter burned my driver's license for reasons of conscience. Thus, as great as the misery of your cook may be, I find it impossible to sympathize with his plight. How could I, when deep down inside I'd rather that his "2005 Chevy Malibu" were sleeping with the fishes (and "Fat Eric") down in the bottom of the Bowl? It would be hypocritical of me, to say the least. Furthermore, even were I sympathetic, which I'm not, you should know by now that I can no more distinguish a Chevy Malibu from a Golden Retriever than I can a Lamborghini from a Labradoodle. It just does not compute. The only thing I notice about cars these days is that they seem to be getting tinnier and boxier. The only vehicle which even remotely arouses my interest is the one with the Union Jack painted on its roof, which is sometimes parked under my penthouse suite. You should understand that I was trained from childhood to stand up and salute the Union Jack whenever it passes by, which makes it difficult for me to get to sleep some nights. If you or your cook should lose a clawfoot bathtub, I might be more motivated to put important things aside and join in the hunt. -- Ross Bender http://rossbender.org/mqrtoc.html
