Setting: The University City District of Sherwood Forest King Barry and The Sheriff of Wall St, Hank Criminalwealth, prepare to address the rabble.
The rabble consists of The Good Anointed, an elite upscale gang of civic association leaders; and The Evil Ones, the whores and criminals of Clark Park, and the billion nearly starved insects, from the globally warming pit of commoners. King Barry: (beaming with pride, he begins) Today is a glorious day. The Good Anointed have written a law of non-opposition supporting the confiscation of the second born from each brood of The Evil Ones. After careful consideration of our surveys, graphs, studies, and open public forums, The Good Anointed have proven, scientifically, that the second born will be just as tasty as the first! (“Applause” appears on the teleprompter) We must all tighten our belts if we want to keep Sherwood cleaner and safer! The Good Anointed: (eyes glued to the teleprompter) hehehe hahaha hohoho! (Groans from the masses of The Evil Ones can be heard across the District) Sheriff Hank CriminalWealth: (with hungry eyes smiling, he continues) We have an emergency and The Good Anointed need to be terrified. Consumption of meat is down among upscale consumers of Sherwood. God has told me that if more of the consumer’s blood is not immediately diverted to their intestines, consumers may develop the ability to think, and God forbid, ethical values. I have ordered all the gold in the treasury to be reserved and spent on the immediate confiscation and butchering of the second born of The Evil Ones! Remember, the motto of Wall St: Rob from the poor and worship the rich! The Good Anointed: ( spilling their lattes as they hop about with glee) hehehe hahaha hohoho! (Groans from the masses of The Evil Ones are heard across the entire globally warming pit). Rob from the poor and worship the rich! Rob from the poor and worship the rich! Scene II: As a moonless night falls on the University City District of Sherwood Forest The Sheriff of Wall St., Hank Criminalwealth, is seen sneaking into the upscale historic village where The Good Anointed dwell in ignorance. Butchering of the second born of The Evil Ones is nearly completed in the dark chambers at the Horn and Hardart on Wall St. Suddenly, Hank’s homeless outreach soldiers begin seizing the broods of The Good Anointed. King Barry: (screaming) But Sheriff of Wall St., we of The Good Anointed have served you in ignorance. We have assisted in the slaughter of The Evil Ones to fatten your divine children. We have pushed our brains all the way up your, you know what. Spare your loyal pawns! Sheriff Hank Criminalwealth: (with a devilish broad smile) hehehe hahaha hohoho! Rob from the poor and worship the rich! Rob from the poor and worship the rich! Man, it is getting hot these days! (No Groans from the evil ones can be heard in the University City District of Sherwood Forest. The Evil Ones and The Good Anointed now dwell in the bellies of the divine good children of Wall St., as the garbage filled pit gets very very hot.) ---- You are receiving this because you are subscribed to the list named "UnivCity." To unsubscribe or for archive information, see <http://www.purple.com/list.html>.
