I attended the 6 month anniversary of Occupy Philly today. I'll tell
all of you the story, but don't tell the special service districts or
Parks and Recreation. I'll be forced to bend over and spread 'em.
It was a cool sunny day at Rittenhouse Square. I first looked around as
I've learned to do, over both shoulders. I saw lots of Philly's finest,
but I didn't see any civic association leaders or Levy's gang.
Nervously, I decided to take the risk!
On the wall around the central plaza, I spied another law breaker
handing out the contraband. Seeing my opening, I approached him and
quickly secured and hid some of it. After blending back in with the
crowd, I did the deed!
Yes, today around 12:45 PM, I ate an unpermitted peanut butter and jelly
sandwich on white bread in Rittenhouse Square!
None of the cops demanded to see the required $30 picnic permit for
legalized eating in Philadelphia corporate parks. A guy in a suite was
watching me engage in the violation, but I don't know if the secret
police and corporate thugs have learned the efficient use of the new
picnic permits designed to allow them to violate amendments like the
14th. Undoubtedly, the picnic permit mostly applies to bad people, who
are not consuming corporate foods in the corporate controlled parks.
And I may have been spared because I was disguised as a fairly dim
middle class consumer without any words like "peace, love, or justice"
on my clothing.
Anyway, I made it back to the district unmolested! But my advice to
those outside of the local centers of power is not to try illegal eating
unless you're truly prepared for the strip search. Especially, if
you're super hot like me. We like to think tactics like the strip
searches and picnic permits are only used on the poor, immigrants, and
minorities. But they've learned how to turn off those cameras when they
get back to the station. And the Supreme Court just told them to have
themselves a little fun with us super freaky illegal eaters.
Name withheld on the basis of the 5th amendment.
----
You are receiving this because you are subscribed to the
list named "UnivCity." To unsubscribe or for archive information, see
<http://www.purple.com/list.html>.
