(Thanks to H)




*BR*
























*illiant Beijing Hotel Brochure - Translated as only they can. [image:
cid:image001.jpg@01D00682.2980DAD0]A friend went to Beijing recently and
was given this brochure by the hotel. It is precious. She is keeping it and
reading it whenever she feels depressed. Obviously, it has been translated
directly, word for word from Mandarin to English.     Getting There: Our
representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs
along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You
will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round
the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries
to have intercourse with all new guests.   The Hotel: This is a family
hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always pleased to
accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put
down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose
themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have
babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone
to play with them self.   The Restaurant: Our menus have been carefully
chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate
from table to table, and fiddle with you.   Your Room: Every room has
excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on
heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! ..
You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the
hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.   Bed: Your bed has been made
in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring
for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased
to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also
squeeze your trousers.   Above All: When you leave us at the end of your
holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it.*

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